a chance of...

I watched you walk away

then took a deep breath

and found a cloud stuck in my throat

Drank some water, hoping to wash it down,

it didn’t work

I reached for a slice of bread

but a blackbird took it from my hand

and flew off looking for the sun

 

Then I heard the thunder,

might have been my stomach growling

but it wasn’t

lightning struck

and my heart was shocked

It is raining inside,

my lungs fill with water,

and I try to take a deep breath

 

But can’t…anymore

Reviews

[s y e]

Damn dude, you know how to get the tears flowing... This was so emotional. I just wanna give you a big hug... Such an emotional yet beautiful poem.

[willweb]

Thank you again my friend. Happy you liked this.

[Rita L. Sev]

Vivid and emotional write, Will.

[willweb]

Thank you Rita for your coments today. I am happy you liked this one.

[Einstein Noodle]

emotive, straight forward poem .. i feel it all stuck in my throat! nice job willweb!
E.

[willweb]

Thank you Einstein Noodle for your nice comments today. I am happy you liked this one.

[Frontier]

Sometimes we only realize how much we love another at the moment they're leaving...and I feel you captured that so well here. Love the allusions to weather events to explain your feelings. There's something about this I really like, keep it up.

[willweb]

Thank you so much Frontier for your comments today. I am very happy you liked this one.

[Lyn Anderson]

A really wonderful spot of imagery here, very vivid. One question, is the spelling of lightening poetic license? It works, either way.

[willweb]

Thank you so much KLGoode. Not poetic license, a mistake. Thank you I will make it right.

[A. Amos]

Simply splendid, enjoyed the read and thanks for sharing

[willweb]

Thank you so much A. Amos. Happy you enjoyed this today.

[A. Amos]

Sure did and most welcome...

[Cory Barrett]

I really like this one will! Like a lot. I don't know if it personification or metaphor or both. I am actually wondering what the mouth feel if a cloud is! Great one!

[willweb]

Thank you Streamline. I am glad you liked this one today. It is kind of puffy.

[Matching Socks]

It sounds like you had a very bad love dream.
I always, without fail, feel moved, just plain FEEL, what you write.
You have such a way...

[willweb]

Ance, thank you so much. I am happy you liked this one

[Vidya Bacchus]

Well this was sad Will.When you lose the one you love its like you have lost everything.Great pen my friend :)

[willweb]

Thank you so much Vidya for your nice comments today.

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome :)