Maybe tomorrow

I asked the sun to shine on me,

it laughed in clouded chuckles,

spit on me in dampened drips and

screamed at me in thunderbolt rantings

Then it brought the moon out to play,

inviting the stars to gather around

 

So I found a spot on a hill and waited

beneath a large evergreen tree

wondering why it was always so dark

When you appeared, sat down next to me,

put your arms around me and kissed me…

my world became instantly bright

 

The sun then asked us to shine on it,

 

“Maybe tomorrow,” we answered

Reviews

[Fran Marie]

You paint a vibrant picture in poetic verse....beautifuly expressed...

[willweb]

Thank you so very much Fran Marie for your nice comment on my poem.

[lissalovesyou]

I love this.
The idea of shining.
"Maybe tomorrow."
So beautiful
lissalovesyou:)

[willweb]

Thank you so very much for your nice comments today. I am happy you enjoyed this.

[Shirlena]

I love the act of shining or being shined on. It's such an uplifting and positive metaphor to use therefore, my favorite lines in this poem includes references to the sun as well some other very eye catching verbiage that I won't mention so as not to re-write this piece. Very interesting imagery.

[willweb]

Thank you so much for your nice comments Shirlena. I am happy you enjoyed this.

[Alani]

Ohhhhh! I love this!
This instantly put a smile on my face :D
Your work reads so smoothly!
I just got the song in my head: "Maybe Tomorrow" - by Stereophonics

[willweb]

Thank you so much Alani. Happy you smiled. I am not familiar with the song or the band, but I will check them out. Thanks again.

[s y e]

Nice twist Will. You really have a knack for words and I love it. I think you brought the sun out over my side of the pond for a few minutes!

[willweb]

Happy it shined on you Noodlehead. Thank you so much for you nice comments today.

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

I like poems with a twist in the tail. This one ticks all the right boxes.
Very well done.

[willweb]

Thank you so much for your comments on my poem today. I am glad you njoyed this.

[A. Amos]

Now that was enjoyable read...thank you making my day with good work:)

[willweb]

Thank you so much A. Amos for commenting on my poem.

[A. Amos]

Pleasure buddy

[Frontier]

Haha, loved the ending, I never would've guessed. :)

[willweb]

Thank you so much Frontier for commenting on my poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love the flippant attitude at the end...but the sun asked for it...

what goes around comes around.
this is quite clever, Will.

quite clever.

[willweb]

Thank you Jacob. That is a high compliment coming from you...a great poet.

[Pryde Foltz]

The sun then asked us to shine on it,

“Maybe tomorrow,” we answered

Romantic love like this can be so splendid. Really beautiful write.

[willweb]

Thank you Pryde for commenting on my poem. I am glad you enjoyed it.