The start

And one day when I return , I might just pick up one of your letters . And one day I might just open a letter . Another day I might read one. Another day I might know what it feels like to be open. To be in touch with my heart To love, to hate , to know that my heart is still real. I might just do that, but for now I’ll just be okay with fitting in.

Running to your door , I have to wonder ,why in the world , I am running 2 miles away from my car just for you. Thinking of you , I feel wounded. I feel betrayed. I feel weak like a child. How someone as weak and small as you can tear me down is a wonder to me ! But here I am right now in time , running to your door just one mile away from me and I couldn’t wait. I don’t mind that I feel wounded. I’m not even mad that I was betrayed . That  wounds me the most is that you think you love him more than you could ever love me. He doesn’t love you the way I love you. He sleeps with any woman the moment you’re not looking. I , on the hand , waited for to be with you for a year when I could have had any woman.
I thought you were only a woman that could have been, but now you are the woman that should have to been.

All these years , I’ve been writing to you , my dear. This place is hell. I can’t handle it anymore. For days on end I won’t sleep and I can’t eat , but you . You are the reason I can handle it. You are the that I care for . I write these letters with my love. I write these letters for you. These letters are filled with my hope. These letters are filled with my dreams, my aspirations.  I will be awaiting for your letters  , love , your sweetheart.

It was quite rich to see that you have to started to write back to me , but I do not care for your letters. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat , but that is just fine by me. I can handle this all on my own. No help , no problem. It would be nice to have seen that my love would move you to show love back , but that’s alright. The problem was me. I excepted too much from you. I excepted that you might show me some kindness and love from all the years of care I have shown for you when many others left you. But that is fine. You have found someone else to call sweetheart , only if you only met him in a month while you have knew me for a lifetime. From a former love , sweetheart.