Paranoia

Paranoia eating

eating away

trying so hard just to keep me away.

Fear of things

that I cannot accept,

fear that I can't keep my fear in check.

Terror inspired

by the heart of glass

which stands in the way of my iron cast.

Horror that leads

to the darkest of places

somehow I can't even look at their faces.

What if the monster inside of this body

were growing until it could no longer hide its

needs or desires that make it untenable

what if I'm there when he gets out?

Paranoia leads me

to lock my door

every night just to make sure.

Fear keeps me

up all night long

I think I'm safe, but what if I'm wrong?

Terror that takes me

to the darkest of places

somehow I can't remember its faces.

Horror that leads me

back to these places

help me figure out which of these faces.

What if the monster I've been hiding out from

were inside a someone that I've always counted on.

What if one night, when I'm tucked up in bed

what if he comes out and breaks open my head?