A creative process

The creating of something troubling to everyone

The lead scientist looks into the tank at the lifeless body of a young girl. Surrounding the girl's tank are three others each with an odd energy echoing inside. The project director walks into the small lab and stands beside the lead scientist.

"Are you sure about this...I mean is this really what you want for your daughter?"

She smiles coolly "I wouldn't have it any other way."

The director shivers a little but motions to the other scientists to start the procedure.

 

 The girl in the tank suddenly becomes aware slamming against the walls of the tank trying to scream as the tank fills with a thick black fog. Screams tear through the air and the girl pounds against the sides of the tank trying to break free. The power goes out and everything goes silent. The lead scientist goes out to the halls to restore power to the lab. She hears the glass shatter and screaming and runs back to the lab. When she reaches the door it is closed and she peers inside. Everyone inside is dead and her daughter is gone. She pulls the door open and walks inside.

 

The bloodied and bruised bodies litter the floor as she walks cautiously through the room holding her hand gun. She looks around the room for her daughter but can't find her.

"Integra...Integra, what have you done?"

"Mother...mother...whyyyyy!!!" Integra's voice echo's through the room seeming to come from all directions.

"Integra...I did it to save you." She looks around the room but still doesn't see her daughter.

"Mommy...the voices...Get the voices out of my head!"

"I can help you...just let me help you." slightly unnerved she continues to search the room.

"Mommy...mommy...mommy the voices are too much!" She says laughing hysterically "Please...please get them out of my head." Integra cries as a drop of blood falls from her side.

She looks to the ceiling "Integra..." what have I done? She whispers to herself.

"NO! I hate that name! I hate you!!!" she leaps from the ceiling down on her mother.

"Please...please don't kill me" she pleads.

"Hmm...let me think about it! NO!!!" Integra grabs the glass shard and shoves it through her mother's heart.

Please...the voices...they're too much...they're too much! Integra screams in her mind as the other souls fight to take over.

 

24 hours ago

 

The scientist sits in the back of the ambulance holding tightly to her daughter's hand hoping she will be alright. She remembers just a few moments ago when her daughter called her to get a ride home from school and then a stray bullet hit her daughter in the side. The ambulance pulls into the hospital parking lot and the nurses and doctors immediately get an operation started to remove the bullet and slow the rate of blood lose.

 

After the operation there wasn't a lot of hope...the surgery was a success but infection was spreading through the girl’s body and they couldn't identify it. Her mother still sat in the waiting room waiting for any news but they didn't have the heart to tell her the bad news. She was let in to see her daughter after about a hour and the girl died in her mother's arms half an hour later, and into her dying daughter's ear she whispered "I'm not going to let you die."

 

The next morning...

"I'm sorry about your daughter..."

"Actually that is why I'm here. I heard you where looking for someone to try your healing program on...using the souls of the dead to revitalize the living..."

"Yes, but we have not tested it yet. It could completely change her attitude and personality to match one of the other..."
"I don't care that would only happen if the souls didn’t adapt properly, I want to save my daughter!"

"Fine but I'm choosing the souls...last thing we need is a psychopath."

"Hmm...How about those top operatives the ones you have in hanger B?"

"There old souls...I'm still not sure about this Amy. Your daughter could still die and there are so many variables that could..."

"I told you I don't care I just want my daughter back."

"Very well."

The scientist turns to leave "I have one more request..."

"Anything"

"I want it done today." and then she leaves the room to prep the lab.

 

Reviews

[EquivalentExchange]

I'm not sure what chapter one or four means but I'll ignore that for now. If you plan on making this the first chapter you'll need to definitely add more to it, more detail, more plot, more everything. I am not opposed to small chapters but they have to be refined. The first chapter is always the most crucial chapter. Give us a little more on why the girl's in the tank, and how in the world did she end up there, and how is her mom running around killing people in this (government?) facility?

It's hard to get a solid impression on what the story is actually about but I'll say what I can. The young and cute young girl with the devilish side and the super powers is overplayed. If you want to do it correctly you need something truly intriguing either about her, or about her situation. Basically what I said before, you just need more of everything. Give me a little more to work with and with some hard work you could turn this into a good story. I would gladly give you more advice on the subject if you'd like.

Oh, and keep in mind, if you'e in a tank of water (or pretty much anything else), people probably can't hear what you're saying. Just a thought. Happy writing!

[Ice Girl]

Okay, first of I agree with EquivalentExchange. You do need a little bit more description for example of the room that she was in and stuff like that. But anyway it was a great write!