Undisclosed

A song inspired me to write - but it took a very dark turn

They all tell me that having a loved one die is the worst pain you will ever feel. But I feel like I need to explain why it isn’t. Because I have experienced worse. My mother died when I was eighteen, and I truly felt like my world had crashed and I was being punished for something I had done in my previous years of living. But eventually, the pain began to dim, and I could accept that the world was going to keep moving because I was still alive.

And as a young female, I, of course dreamed about meeting the person of my dreams. Those dreams continued with us falling in love, marrying and settling down with kids. And then I thought I had met the one. At first, I didn’t feel right about it, it just didn’t line up with my dreams in any way, shape or form.

But over the months, I began to accept it and truly embrace the person I was. I wasn’t ready to have the world yell at me for the things I was doing, or try and fix me after showing the downhill journey my life took after my mother’s death, so I kept it to myself. And the girl I was in love with.

Her eyes were always stuck in my mind, a blue like you have never seen. They were the first thing I noticed about her, and were the thing I loved the most. Almost. She too, took a long time to accept what we have, and it almost didn’t happen.

Maisie was still young, and not so innocent, but she wasn’t as ready as I am. That I could understand. But this next part, the part where she threw it all in my face and spat at my efforts, that was the worst pain I have ever felt in my twenty-four years of living.

She told me that she was sick of the dark, that it was time for me to let her go because if you love someone, you should stop clipping their wings and give them the freedom they deserve. She slapped me straight across my face and tried to scream at the top of her lungs but her voice failed her. She blamed that on the dark too.

Her blue eyes filled with tears, and she looked at me with the gaze of a wounded puppy. And it almost worked. I almost gave in, and I almost let her go. But her words were stuck bouncing around in my brain and it was deafening. To have all the work you have done for someone thrown aside and called garbage, to have your love laughed at and ridiculed by the person you thought ruled the world, that was deafening. So, I couldn’t let her go, not when she was so angry, and so riled up, not when she was swearing on her own life that one day, one day she would be free. Even if it cost her everything.

There was nothing more I wanted that day, than to run up those stairs, deadbolt the door, and burn the house down. That was how angry she had made me. But my love for her stopped me from burning all my bridges and forced me to think about the coincidences my actions would have. So instead, I hurt her, like she hurt me. I turned on the small TV in the corner, and the cd started playing.

It was showing the first press release since she went missing. Two years ago, and counting. She doesn’t know how much things have changed in the real world, the damage her family has suffered, the way her friends and loved ones have moved on and dealt with her disappearance.

‘They aren’t looking for you anymore Maisie. They think you ran away, and I think they are beginning to accept that they will never see their reckless little girl anymore’

She refused to take her eyes away from the screen, deadlocked on the crying image of her devastated mother and father. They were pleading with the world to return their little girl, only 16 years old, safe to them, safe and sound. Most of their press releases were the same, pleading for their little girl to be returned to them. I had talked to them once, her parents, they had told me so much about her, about the investigation, and helped me save Maisie, from being found. Because I love her, and she doesn’t deserve to have those people telling her how she isn’t the girl they thought she was.

I still remember the first time I saw her. It was a year before I decided to make her mine. She was fifteen, and I twenty-one. I was grabbing a bite to eat with my boyfriend at the time, when she and her friends walked into the small and dainty café. The girls didn’t notice me, or my boyfriend, but we both noticed them. They were all beautiful, and innocent like no one would believe.

Jason and I broke up that afternoon, we both had our eye on a certain blonde, blue eyes innocent angel. I tried to tell him that he wasn’t going to be able to win the heart of a school girl, not when he, was an accountant who always had his nose in a book. He gave up after a month of stalking the girl.

But me, I was entranced. I had managed to convince myself that the fight wasn’t futile, and that, if I played my cards right, I would be the luckiest girl in the world. And now here I was, Maisie by my side, and the world still oblivious.

‘They love me and they will still be looking for me! I’m their little girl!’ Maisie whispered into her knees, chanting it over and over until she had the strength to look me in the eye and state it clearly.

The cd kept going, I had only stuck three different pleas on there. And then there was the fourth video, where they were thanking the police and everyone else who had tried to help because they had found a charred body, with the last seen location, and a set up that they believed the man who kidnapped her, had gotten bored and decided to change pace.

I saw her heart broke when she saw the coldness between her parents, the emptiness in their eyes and hearts, and the defeat laced into their words. I also saw the last little bit of strength disappear from her own blue eyes, and although I knew that it would make this all ultimately easier, I knew those blue eyes would never be the blue eyes I fell in love with, ever again.

‘I am still here for you Maisie, I never gave up on you. They were weak, and they just accepted what I told them was true, they never truly loved you. But Maisie my love, my feelings are stronger than ever, I would never leave you!’

Her gaze fell on mine, and the pain I had delivered was so damn clear that it made my heart hurt. I had been childish, I had hurt her simply because she had hurt me. And that wasn’t what lovers should do, they should apologize, and love, no matter what the situation was. I had failed her.

‘Let me go Natalie. Please. Let me choose to love you in my own way and time, I can’t breathe down here, I just can’t! It’s driving me crazy, all this darkness with my thoughts and no room to let a little light in because you control everything. That’s not love. Love is showing people that you care, not binding their hands behind them so they can’t move away. Love is telling the person how you feel, not forcing them to feel the exact same way. Love is about acceptance, not about killing someone’s soul and molding it to fit person you want them to be. You don’t love me Natalie, you don’t even love yourself. So, stop killing me to save yourself!’ Maisie pulled at her long dirty hair in desperation, she knew she had to get out of the cabin, but there was nothing she could do.

I stared at her, I could feel the tears brewing and someone where inside me, I knew she was right. I didn’t love myself, but that didn’t mean I didn’t love her.

‘Let me go. I need to breathe again. I need to see the blue skies, and the dark grey rain clouds, but most of all, I need to breathe. Fresh air, with the freedom to run, and to fly, and to be me. The girl with no baggage, the girl with no demons, just a young girl living for the fact that she is alive. You need to let me breathe again Natalie. Let me breathe!’

A long silence filled the dusty basement. All the air was sucked out and the two females stared at each other, one in desperation and one in fear. No moves were made, the board was silently empty. The board was staying empty.

I stood quickly and took the stairs two at a time, my vision was blurring and my heart was sinking as if the weight of an anchor was taking it under water. The large wooden door slammed behind me and the bolt slid shut under the force of my slim hand. I slammed my eyes shut, and switched the switch that I had installed for emergencies only.

I heard her scream, loud and terrified. She took the stairs as quick as I had, chasing the air that was quickly dissipating. Her fists beat against the large door, and I could feel her tears hitting the concrete steps. Her words were begged, and she pleaded with me to open the door, to let her breathe.

What she didn’t know, was that she wasn’t the only one without air. If I opened the door, it wasn’t going to save her because I didn’t have any air either. The whole house was under lockdown, suffocating itself, becoming a horror story.

The last thing I heard was her pleading with me, crying for one last chance. And her face was the last thing in my mind, before I slipped into empty black. It wouldn’t be long now, we would both slip into sleep, and ascend to the heavens above. We didn’t get the time we wanted, but we had more than some. And I couldn’t complain with that.

--

It was a half hour before someone realized something was wrong with the house next door. Large metal plates covered the windows, doors, ceiling pipes and the chimney, there was no way for air to enter the bland concrete house.

It was another hour before anyone made it to the scene, and an hour after that before the house system was shut down.

The news went wild that night. Young 18 year old Maisie Alice Walters found in the basement of an older acquaintance of her fathers, Natalie Grace Williams. Both girls were dead, and there were fresh tears in the eyes of every watcher.

There were so many questions floating around the country that day. Was Natalie the captor, or was it all orchestrated for the male the police believed it to be, so he could escape and keep living his life. No-one ever found the truth. There was no closure for Maisie’s family, there was no hope for the parents and siblings to find out what happened. Everything was wiped away, gone and deleted. As if it never happened.

As if Maisie had never existed. Gone.  

Author's Note

Thoughts?

Reviews

[Harley Quinn]

Wow, this is intense! Kept me interested. Excellent work!

[WillaDanvers]

Thank you :)

[B]

Some people are angels
they do not belong on earth
they live short lives
but make a profound difference

you are a truly beautiful writer
i love your soul and what it produces

[WillaDanvers]

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!