03. The Wrong Escape Route

I feel like my chapters should each hold a hidden message, but I don't think I've been doing that very well so far...

Her crooked smile sparked something inside him. The little crinkles in the corner of her eyes, the embarrassment that flooded her face when she snorted her little snort. There was only one thing that didn’t please him in this picture, and that was the fact that it was not him that she was smiling at. He had to accept the fact that she wasn’t going to smile at him like that again.

He wanted to tell her who Gemima was, but he didn’t want to rush her, or scare her off any more than she already was. If that was even possible. One of her close guy mates kept sending annoyed looks his way, and although Jason wanted to move on and look somewhere else, he just couldn’t.

He couldn’t stop watching her laugh, and enjoy herself. It took him back to the days when they would lounge on his couch, watching movies and throwing popcorn everywhere. It took him back to the time where it was simple, he knew what he wanted and he thought he knew how to get it. But he messed that up. Plain and simple.

‘We need to move on now Blithe’ Officer Dawn Mortimer stood by his side, looking out at the beach trying to find what had her friend’s full attention.

‘One more minute’

Dawn finally found the person he was staring at, and that was because she was staring right back at Jason. Maggie James. The girl that Jason had been miserable about for the past few months. Dawns husband was one of Jason’s closest mates since high school, and that made her privy to all the gossip that happened in Jason Blithe’s life.

‘Let it go Jase’ Dawn tugged lightly on her friend’s arm. Jason sighed before stepping back and moving away from the scene that was causing his own heart break and misery.

Maggie watched him walk away with another female arm around his, comforting and making him laugh. Internally, she sneered and started picking out things that were wrong with the other lady. She couldn’t help it. She had assumed he was married, or had a girlfriend and it seemed that she had been right all along. But it hurt more than she wanted it to.

‘Mags. Attention please?’ Simon eyed her warily. He had seen the officer standing there watching Maggie and her friends.

It was safe to assume that the officer liked what he saw when his eyes lingered on Maggie. And now Simon was putting the pieces together. He pulled the sad story Maggie had told him about her family holiday a few months ago, and now he put a name to a face.

‘That’s him?’ Simon’s words drew the attention from the rest of the crew. They were all staring at Simon and Maggie, waiting for someone to explain the situation to them.

Maggie felt herself cringing internally. She hadn’t wanted to let anyone else know about her failed late winter romance, and she had hoped Simon wouldn’t figure out that Jason was the guy that turned her down. So, she avoided her friend’s eyes and started digging a small hole in the sand with her bare toes.

‘Maggie Elizabeth James. Explain’ Sofia crossed her arms and looked down her pointy nose at the girl that was refusing to say a word.

The way Maggie bit her lip and stared out at the bay as if it was super interesting irritated Sofia. She hated not knowing things, even more so if it was brought completely to her attention. She may not be super close to Maggie, and didn’t often get on well with Simon, but she needed to be in on this secret.

‘It’s nothing Sofia. If I wanted you to know, I’d tell you’ Maggie muttered folding her arms but still avoiding Sofia’s demanding brown eyes. Sofia switched her gaze and stared intently and Jenny, hoping she could find the secret that way.

‘Don’t look at me. I’m as much in the dark as you’ Jenny tried masking the hurt in her voice, but even she knew that she failed.

‘Can we please just talk about something else?’

Maggie glared at the two girls, they knew how much she hated everyone knowing her business. And yet, here they stood, trying to bully her into telling everyone her little secret. Maybe it was time to start hanging with other people, people that would stop prying when she asked them to.

No one said a thing. Every time one of the boys opened their mouths to speak, Sofia would glare at them menacingly and so they didn’t attempt to break the silence. They slowly drifted away from the awkward silence, in attempts to keep their day to a minimum of one awkward encounter.

‘I’ll see you later’ Maggie dodged Sofia’s quick hand and jogged over to the girl that they had hurt earlier that week.

‘Hey, Serene, right?” The girl looked at Maggie in surprise, but it quickly faded into suspicion.

‘What do you want?’

‘To get away from my friends. And I saw you. And I kind of know you. Besides, you aren’t interested in my life or my secrets so voila �" the perfect escape route’ Maggie shrugged easily, she hadn’t thought about what she would say once they started walking down the beach. That is, if Serene helped her run away from her Auckland friends.

‘Fine. We can walk for a minute or so, until they can’t see us anymore, then you can leave me alone’ Serene sighed softly. She always did what others wanted her to do, even if they had bullied or ridiculed her in the very same week.

The two girls walked in heavy silence down the beach front, Serene hoping that Maggie wouldn’t talk, and Maggie wanting to ask a few questions.

‘So… I know I said you wouldn’t be interested in my life or secrets… but I might be interested in yours. Do you want to hang with me today?’ Serene stared blankly at the girl’s face. She could see hope displayed on Maggie’s face, she just didn’t know if it was genuine or not.

Again, Serene did what Maggie wanted to do because that’s who she was. A girl that was unable to say no. She just hoped that the day would pass quickly, and that her brothers would see her and save her. Although, that would then come with a lecture on how she should stand up for herself and say no for once.

‘I’m sorry Serene. I know we were being horrible, and obviously, that’s not okay. We just, we never really got pulled up about it back home. I don’t mean to make excuses though. Look, what I’m trying to say I’m genuinely sorry for saying those things, and hurting your feelings’ Maggie squeezed her eyes shut, trying to hide her shame from this girl that she barely knew.

‘It’s fine. I said that already. Don’t worry about it’

‘So… why are you always alone?’ Maggie tried to start a friendly conversation but could see she wasn’t off to a very good start.

‘What do you guys want?’ The monotonous tone of the cashier tempted Maggie to smirk and laugh, but she figured that would just make her seem like a worse person that Serene already thought she was.

‘I’ll have a Berry smoothie please. Serene?’

‘Soy latte’ Maggie’s gaze dropped to Serene’s waist, assuming that the soy was for some fad diet or something of the sorts. Serene used her forearms to block her stomach, not feeling comfortable with the rich girl’s piercing gaze seeming to look right through her.

‘It’s a health thing’

‘You don’t have to explain’

‘Yeah. I do. Cause then you’d think im anorexic, you’d tell your friends, and then yet another rumor would fly around this wretched city’ Serene glared at the light grey tiling on the ground in annoyance, and self-pity.

Her words stirred up a pot of guilt in Maggie’s stomach. She had assumed that Serene was anorexic, the thought of it being a health-related issue hadn’t yet crossed her mind, and she doubted it would have if Serene hadn’t said anything.

 The silence was deafening as they took their coffee number and looked for a seat to occupy. The café was nearly full to the brim, but there were two tables at the very back of the room still empty.

‘Uhm, what are your plans for this holiday?’ Maggie fiddled with a little sugar packet as she waited for the girl sitting opposite her to yet again, ignore another of her questions.

‘Nothing. Study maybe’

‘How old are you?’

‘Twenty.’ Maggie looked at Serene in surprise. She hadn’t expected Serene to be older, if anything, she assumed younger.

‘Why do you stutter?’

‘Because when there are lots of people looking at you, you get nervous. More so, if you can tell they are close, popular and all pretty much perfect. Makes us lesser people feel worse about ourselves’ Her comment ticked something inside Maggie, but she tried to hide the fact that she didn’t agree with Serene.

‘You aren’t stuttering now though’

‘You’re alone. And I already don’t like you so I don’t care if I make a good impression or not.’

Maggie waited until the waitressed deposited their drinks on their table and left, before she spoke again. She wanted to tread lightly, hoping she could find a way into the good books of the older girl.

‘We aren’t perfect you know’ Serene laughed quietly. She knew nobody was perfect, and she always assumed that each person had their own invisible problems, but she didn’t expect this rich kid from Auckland to understand her point of view.

‘Don’t worry about it. Forget I said anything’

Maggie stared at the girl, an unknown feeling stirring in her chest. It was accompanied by pain, nausea and hurt. One of the worst things for her, was being lumped together with all those other rich kids. Yes, wealth had always been a part of her life. But that didn’t make her any less vulnerable.

‘I have problems too Serene. Maybe I don’t get bullied because I have a stutter because I let my shyness control my life. And maybe I can buy my way out of trouble, or to try and cheer my heavy heart up. But I still have god damned problems. Maybe we ‘rich people’ just know how to hide that we feel things, better. You’re just as bad as we were, you know that?’ Maggie stared at the older girl, she could feel her chin quivering, and she knew that she would need to leave soon if she wanted to keep the mornings food in her stomach.

‘We still feel the loss of someone dying. We still get hit with the common attack of anxiety and depression. Money may put a roof above our heads, and give us a great education, but it does nothing to protect our genetics, or our mental health. So please, stop assuming we have perfect lives. Put yourselves in our shoes for once, and shut your f*****g mouth’

Serene had the decency to feel guilty, to stay quiet when Maggie was talking. She saw the way Maggie’s chin was wobbling when she was trying to prove a point. And the way her shoulders shook when she tried to keep the pain hidden behind the mask she was so used to holding up in the sunshine. And she apologized quietly when Maggie stopped talking. But she knew the damage was already done. Because she had been in a similar position so many times. Not the rich title, but a title of having a loving family, brothers and not having the right to complain about the life she had been given. Assumptions are the one thing that could nip a possible, maybe a very slight possibility, friendship in the bud.

Maybe if she told herself that she was just standing up for herself she would be able to make herself better. But deep down, she knew, she was just as bad as Maggie and her friends had been. And that was the one thing she had wished would never happen. That she would be the reason for someone’s tears.

Author's Note

This piece will no doubt be riddled with first drafts errors and mistakes. Please ignore that, or let me know if it is that bad :)