02. Standing on the outside

A little more information, a little look into a side character

‘The silence in a room full of people is the loudest atmosphere to encounter. The heavy layer of things unsaid, the tears falling of those who mourn, and the regrets sitting on the tops of tongues.’

 

Soft waking movement of the water kissed Maggie’s sandy feet. The sun was barely in the sky, the sky only partially light, and yet she was fully awake. And she was also sober. Unlike her friends, who she had left at the party last night. The same party that she had convinced them to attend. And then ditched.

Her head had been spinning all day yesterday, but it wasn’t until she felt the energy draining from her body, and the food fighting its way up her system, that she stopped. Stopped drinking and dancing, stopped ignoring the health issues that were not going away.

‘Good to see you sober Maggie’

Startled, Maggie looked at the person standing a metre in front of her. Her smile dropped from her face, and she felt the weight come crashing back down onto her shoulders. Seeing him like this reminded her of the first time they had met. But it was the expression on his face that kept her in the reality of the moment.

‘Yeah whatever’ Maggie mumbled stalking past him, trying to keep a quick and efficient pace to get as far away from him as she could.

‘You don’t have to run from me’ Maggie stopped and stared at the man that only had her best interests at heart. Or her health in mind.

‘Why do you keep talking to me? Keep looking out for me? We are practically strangers’

‘You kissed me only four months ago, Maggie. We aren’t strangers. I know you’

‘You don’t know me Jason. You know the me I allowed you to know. A shell of myself. So just let that go, and move on with your life’ Maggie turned and this time Jason didn’t follow her.

The hurt she had hidden from four months ago, lingered near the surface. When he kept blowing her off to help another female, to take on extra shifts, when he didn’t want to be near her. Part of her wished she was already over him, but part of her wished that he would prove to her that he wanted her, that he was worth her time.

‘No, you know what? You can’t keeping have the last word and then walking away from me. Maggie, I still like you, that hasn’t changed. I’m going to keep looking out for you because I can’t tell myself not to and you are just going to have to accept that’ Jason held onto Maggie’s arm with a firm but tender grip. His eyes betrayed the calm expression he was fighting to keep on his face.

‘You like me? You also like that other chick. You never denied that. I’m not going to be a part of an early midlife crisis for you Jason. Stop toying with me, stringing me along because one day you will just break my heart completely’

‘You’re still hung up about Jemima?’ Maggie flinched when he brought her name up so casually. The name that had caused a few of her tears.

‘Yes. And because you refuse to let me know anything about your life I can so easily assume that she is your wife, or your girlfriend. You don’t deny or confirm anything so what do you expect?’

Jason stared at the girl that had been stuck in his mind since early September. Her anger was something he liked, she wasn’t afraid to tell him where he was going wrong, he knew where he stood. Most of the time.

‘I don’t see you offering anything about yourself either. It’s a two-way street’

‘You know I’m sick. How’s that for not giving you anything huh?’

‘You didn’t tell me that Maggie! I found out because you started seizing in my arms!’ Jason swore under his breathe when he saw the wounded expression on her face. He was aware it was a sensitive subject and yet he was using it as ammunition to get past the wall of security around her heart.

‘F**k you Jason’ Maggie ran back towards the cottage, hoping to get into her room before the tears fell from their cage. But alas, Jordi and Simon were standing on the sand in front of the identical cottages and saw her tears almost straight away.

Jordi gripped her arm tightly stopping her from squeezing past them and up the stairs. He jerked her face towards him to confirm completely that Maggie was in deed crying.

‘You never cry Mags’ Jordi let go of her wrist and crossed arms with a ‘explain’ expression settling onto his handsome face. Simon didn’t say a word, but the same expression quickly found a home on his face.

Maggie considered telling them about Jason, and what happened four months earlier but found herself shrugging, faking innocence. She wiped the tears and smiled a small smile, their protectiveness already beginning to eliminate the heaviness sitting on her chest.

‘Don’t worry about it guys. It’s nothing I can’t handle’ Her words fell upon deaf ears and the boys continued to press her with questions and accusations.

‘Geez guys, if you want me to start crying again keep going with these questions and awful accusations. It’s like you don’t know me at all’ Maggie frowned, her words quickly stopping the boys in the middle of their thought processes.

‘Okay, we will stop’ Simon rolled his eyes. He knew Maggie, and he knew if he went to her later and asked her in private, she would most likely spill the information and details on why she was so upset.

The three of them continued to talk about meaningless things until the rest of their friends stumbled out of the houses. Jenny tiptoed through the door and tried to quieten the ruckus down, complaining that her head was killing her.  No one heard her, they were all too busy laughing at Pierce’s imitation of someone they had met a few days ago,

‘My name is s-s-serene?’ Pierce whispered in a lisp, playing with his dark top with his fingers and hunching his shoulders.

‘I Uhm. Don’t really know how to be a normal human?’ Sofia cackled causing the others to slow down the laughter and stand around awkwardly.

‘What? I thought we were making fun of her?’ Sofia peered at her friends with furrowed eyebrows.

‘Her speech mainly… She wasn’t that weird, she just was pretty terrible when it came to being social’ Maggie cringed, spotting two furious boys staring at her friends and Maggie herself.

The group watched as the boys stomped up to them, eager to see how they would defend the shy girl from the party. Jenny couldn’t keep her eyes of one of them, and felt extremely guilty when they started low key shouting. The others clearly didn’t feel guilty, their laughter loud and taunting when the boys tried to point out that they were being mean.

‘Serene can’t help the way she speaks, especially if a bunch of stupid princesses are staring at her with disdain splayed all over their faces!’ The taller one flexed his arms and curled his hands into fists. The bruises that were already on his knuckles quietened the group down a little.

‘And we can’t help laughing when someone is about to piss themselves with nerves’ Jordi grinned thinking how much better it would have been if the girl had actually wet herself.

‘Okay okay! We get it you thugs! We will stop laughing and making fun of her!’ Maggie rested a finger on both Jordi’s, and the tall angry guy’s chest making a little distance.

‘When you are around anyway!’ Sofia chortled but stopped when the shorter man stepped forward clenching his own fists.

‘Chris! Alex! Let them laugh, it’s not going to make them any cooler, or increase their brain cells. It’s nothing new anyway’ the girl they were all making fun of stepped forward and tried to tug her brothers away from the typical rich brats.

‘Kay well now we feel bad. Sorry chick we don’t really know’ Jordi flashed the girl his charming smile hoping she would fall for it. When she did nothing but stare at him like he was the dirt on her shoe, his smile faltered and he was left confused.

‘Your face bro!’ Chris laughed at the boy he wanted to punch, amused that his sister could hold her own.

Jordi stood there as all his friends started laughing with the tall lad named Chris. His own brain found the situation funny and soon he was smiling and laughing with the rest of them. With a few brain cells to spare the boys stared insulting each other, getting less and less clever.

Jenny could see Serene was feeling completely out of comfort and went over to start a conversation, but stopped when she received the dirtiest of looks from the shorter guy, Alex. She held her hands up in surrender and felt embarrassed for trying to make friends with the girl they were insulting only minutes before.

‘Don’t stress Jen. He’s just got a small dick and he’s threatened by you’ Maggie whispered in her friend’s ear, smirking when Alex quirked his eyebrow in question. His amused confusion morphed into annoyance when the two of them laughed at her comment.

Sofia, Jenny and Maggie left the boys to see the other, snobby, people left them and their cottages alone. They were sick of the dirty looks, and the snide comments hidden in jokes about their money, status and upbringing. The boys may have not found offense in the words, but the comments brought out the insecurities in the girls.

They may have been brought up on money, and other wealth’s, but that didn’t automatically mean their lives were easier, or better. Only months ago, one of their closest friends had passed away, taking his own life. Jenny’s brother, had struggled more than the rest of them had, and in the end, he wasn’t able to hold his head high enough to keep himself from drowning.

‘Money doesn’t bring Felix back. Nothing will bring Felix back’ Jenny mumbled into her tear soaked pillow. Her heart ached for one last smile, or teasing comment, from her brother.

The boys from outside may not think these girls know hardship, and struggle, but they did. And that was the most offensive thing to Jenny. She had felt loss stronger than she wanted to, and no amount of money or popularity would fix that. Nothing but time could heal her wounds, and even then, they may never be fully closed.

A wound cutting so deep as a life taken by choice is not something a child can get over in the blink of an eye. Waking up each morning and going to talk to someone who has been by your side for your entire life, only to find he is no longer there, rips that wound open time after time. Her wealth and money a constant reminder of what she had lost, Jenny found herself wishing she had nothing but her brother.

But her brother was dead. And her money still existed. So, that hadn’t changed. Life had to go on, Jenny had to keep moving, step after step. No matter the ache sitting in her heart, no matter the judgement cast by outsiders, and no matter the emptiness money brought her. Life wasn’t going to stop and let her cry her little girl heart out because life didn’t care. And Jenny accepted that, not without kicking and screaming, but she still accepted the fact that no one was going to stop, and grieve with her, not when they had their own lives, and own problems to solve.

Author's Note

First draft so spelling errors and grammatical errors are bound to be plentiful in this piece of writing! Enjoy anyway :)