01. Wild and Free

Introducing the scene, the book and most of the characters. Please, Enjoy :)

 

Laughter and freedom swayed around the room, gripping the lives of those partaking in this summer party. Maggie James and her friends were amongst this crowd, consuming large amounts of alcohol, singing and dancing to the intoxicating beat of the music. Lost were the daily problems and struggles each of them had to face, lost were the responsibilities they had sitting on their shoulders, that was all lost for this moment in time. But the party had to end. It all must end at some point in time.

 

“Party’s over. Scatter!” Four tall men clothed in uniform stalked around the quickly emptying room, looking for anyone that might be drugged, under age, or abusing alcohol past the limit of the law. One’s gaze fell upon Maggie James, and watched as the flitted through the garden with a few other girls her age. His jaw clenched, he knew that girl, and he knew she shouldn’t be at a gathering such as this.

 

Cheering people stumbled around on the beach making way towards their beds for the nights. Some collapsed where they were, too far gone to make it back to a comfortable and safe bed. Sofia and Jenny hauled Maggie up the steps of their small, but cosy, beach side cottage complaining.

 

“S**t Mags, how much did you throw back?” Jenny grunted. Her shoulders were killing her, her shoes were giving her blisters, and she could already feel a killer headache on its way to haunt her.

 

“Waaaay too much broo” Sofia hit the table with her left hip and went sprawling on the soft carpet floor, taking the other two girls with her.

 

The three of them laughed at their situation. Giggling and attempting to speak making a never-ending circle of humour for these drunk teenagers. Jenny was the first one to sit back up and look around. She had drunk less than her other friends, knowing that someone would need to have some sort of knowing/adult/responsibility.

 

Maggie stopped laughing abruptly. She was all too familiar with the feelings and sensations flooding her body. She threw herself up from the floor and flew into the small singular bathroom. Her hands gripped the cold porcelain toilet as the drinks came back up, along with the food she had consumed throughout the long day.

 

The rest of the night seemed to be in slow motion. Constant vomiting, heat shifts and a headache haunting her aching brain. Sofia and Jenny had no idea what was happening with their friend, their hard night having taken a toll on them. Maggie could hear their loud snores from the other side of the cottage. She kept taking in fluids despite them not staying in her system longer than a minute. This was part of the routine, this is what she had to endure if she wanted to have some fun with her friends.

 

They didn’t realise how much she suffered once the fun had all ended. Maggie had become the expert at hiding the damage alcohol did to her body, and to her mind and coping mechanisms. Against medical advice, and parental advice, Maggie refused to let go of her destructive ways, constantly reminding her parent’s that she was young, and this is how young people operated.

 

At the rising of the sun, Maggie sat on the deck and clutched her bottle of water in her clammy hands. The slow heat on her face felt good, and slowed the nausea down some.

 

“That was intense last night huh?” Jordi made his way to the identical cottage beside his, and sat beside Maggie.

 

“I may have overdone it a little… so I don’t remember much past 11” Maggie winced at remembering some of what she could last night. Jordy sniggered also remembering the out of character things drunk Maggie had done.

 

“It was entertaining Mags, don’t regret that! Besides, we all probably will do something cringe worthy during the length of this summer holidays. It’s only been four days so far!” Jordi slung his arm around girl he was closest too in the group.

 

He had to admit, he used to have a crush on Maggie, but after realising that she didn’t like him in that way, he soon moved on. Maggie hadn’t directly told him that never no chance in hell, it had come from the mouth of Sofia Andrews, his cousin. Jordi had never particularly gotten along with Sofia, even after being in the same crowd throughout the five years of high school.

 

Sofia, having not known her dad, took after her mum in their Latino ways. And she liked to hold that above Jordi’s head. That she was special, and they weren’t really related. Because Sofia had Latino roots and Jordi was just a plain ol Kiwi. Jordi was still praying that if he just ignored her, and her insistent whines that they are so not related, she would eventually give up. It seem she has not yet gotten that particular message just yet .

 

‘That police officer was watching you pretty intently back at that party… you know him?’

 

Maggie turned at looked at the young man sitting next to him, taken aback by his piercing eyes. She couldn’t remember seeing any police officers at the party, let alone any that she knew.

 

‘I don’t remember there being cops?’ Maggie shook her head softly. ‘Although I don’t remember much after the whole dancing on the tables thing…’ She looked at her hands bashfully.

 

She couldn’t remember a time when she had let loose that much, without reserve. Maybe it’s because she knew she would have her parents to answer to, their astonishment and disappointment. As well as a lecture on how she should be looking after her own health.

 

‘Yeah I can’t say the same thing. You drunk probably twice the amount I did. You even gave a Chris a run for his money’ The pair laughed at his comment. Nobody could beat Chris when it came to drinking. He was the champion, probably of the whole of their home country.

 

‘The day someone beats me is the day I will have died from old age’ Chris quips, leaning on the post of the identical cottage that the boys were renting. His twin exited the cottage only moments later. Alex looked similar to his brother, but a little younger. If you didn’t know any better, you would think Alex was the year below them, that is, until Chris opened his mouth.

 

Before long, everyone was awake, and groaning about standing outside in the hell sent sun. Their jokes were dry, old and just time fillers, until they were awake enough to hold decent and interesting conversation. The beach in front of them filled up fast, considering it was summer, and a very popular tourist location.

 

‘I would suggest swimming at the beach but I’m not sure there will be much room left for us…’ Sofia shielded her eyes and swept her eyes over the crowd.

 

‘Maybe we could head into town? That is probably quite busy also, but hey… it’s something to do!’ Jenny raised her suggestion, getting nods and murmurs in response. Jenny and Maggie headed through the wooden front door, but Sofia kept her sad gaze on the back of a boy she wished were watching her too.

 

‘You’re going to have to stop that’ Sofia and Jenny both looked at Maggie in confusion. Sofia realised Maggie’s words were directed at her, but that didn’t help her come to the conclusion of what Maggie was talking about.

 

‘Stop what?’ Sofia climbed the steps and stopped in front of her shorter friend.

 

‘Pining. If you aren’t going to fix it you might as well let him go’ Maggie smiled a sad smile at the forlorn expression on Sofia’s face.

 

‘I can’t help it Mags… I miss him. But if I tell him I made a mistake, he will just laugh in my face. And that would be so embarrassing. And it would totally ruin the whole summer!’

 

‘Maybe. But maybe it won’t. Either way, everyone else knows how you feel, so he’s gonna find out sooner or later in any case.’ Jenny awkwardly patted Sofia’s back before heading into her single room to change into some half decent clothing. It had been four full days, and already Jenny had managed to empty her suitcase onto the floor, the dresser, the bed and the nightstand. Even she didn’t understand how she managed to make such a mess.

 

Sofia often joked that she was the worst female ever. Stating that she was never tidy, she hated wearing skirts, she despised the colour pink, and she loved everything to with cars, but hated anything to do with fashions, celebrities, or anything trendy. Sofia often liked to point this out to Jenny, no matter how offended Jenny would get in private or public.

 

‘Ready Jen?’ Maggie stood in her doorway, wearing a stripy top tucked into distressed blue denim shorts but for once was not wearing her beloved combat boots. Jen pulled her favourite grey tee over her head, threw her hair into a bun and walked out the door with her two closest friends.

 

‘Ever the fashionable three’ Simon tucked his arm into Maggie’s, pulling her from the other girls. He had something important to tell her, and he couldn’t wait another second.

 

‘That cop. Last night. He was completely checking you out. You know, the one I told you was hot on the beach, the very first day we got here.’ Simon pouted, he had hoped from the good looks of the cop that he would also be gay. So Simon could have some fun, to spice up this very straight holiday so far.

 

‘Yeah… Jordi said the same thing. Well, not quite but along the same lines… Maybe he is the stalker that will kidnap, kill and then feed me to the sharks, like happens in so many horror moves. Or those sad missing people in America. You guys should drop it oi, move on to something worth your time. Like that guy over there. Not your usual time, I know, I know! But… he likes the look of you so enjoy your holiday Simon’ Maggie flicked Simons arm with a small smile.

Now she knew who Jordi was talking about, and she knew why he was staring at her. He knew that she wasn’t completely healthy, but not how unhealthy she was. Her family had been holidaying in this same location only four months earlier, when she had her big attack. And he had been at the scene. And he knew who she was.

 

 

 

Author's Note

This is a first draft, so there probably will be sentences that don't quite work, words that don't quite fit, and words that might not be spelled right. If that is the case, flick me a quick message :)

Reviews

[matrixmark]

3rd sentence could be cut easily into 2 different sentences - try this.

Change this....Lost were the daily problems and struggles each of them had to face, lost were the responsibilities they had sitting on their shoulders, that was all lost for this moment in time.

To this...All their daily problems, struggles and responsibilities, seemed to disappear in that moment of time. But suddenly, the party came to an abrupt end.

I have to say, even though there are a few grammatical errors, I REALLY enjoyed this piece. as Hebe has already pointed out, you made the scene really clear to the reader, and I too will be reading on.

Mark.

[WillaDanvers]

Thank you Mark, I will take into regard your changes tonight when I go and edit this piece :) I am glad to read that you enjoyed the start of what I hope is a journey of a novel! And I love that you will keep reading as Maggie continues the story of her summer :)

[matrixmark]

Not a problem, the changes were just a guideline as how to put some sentences on a word diet and make them look more sharp and flowing. I was a good read and yes I certainly shall be reading more.

Mark.

[Hebe]

Hi Willa... you are certainly placed into the whole scene quite quickly and get a clear picture of what is going on... May I ask if this is the opening scene?
Your description is great and it does leave you wanting to know more about Maggie....

[WillaDanvers]

Hi Hebe. Yes, I was planning on having this as my opening scene

[Hebe]

If I may suggest, and it's only an idea...but a little less information about all the characters keep the suspense going.... otherwise it sounds very interesting, Good luck and I'm waiting for more snip bits :)

[WillaDanvers]

That is a good idea :) I shall read it with fresh eyes and see what i can do :) Thank you for reading