Anxiety Attack

This is my true experience with my attacks

Anxiety Attack

 

I don’t expect you to understand,

To know the demons that crawl around,

Without constrictions in my mind,

I do not expect you to understand,

 

But please, my dear,

Stop telling me that I am in control,

For when those demons are angry,

I have not even a little shred of control,

 

I can hear everything you want to say,

That if I want to win, then I can,

If I put in the effort,

These demons could disappear for good,

 

But it just isn’t that easy,

I don’t expect you to understand,

How it feels when they are raging,

Destroying all self-will created,

 

No matter how hard I try,

They will always be there,

I may have my good months,

But the bad months still exist,

 

The way my heart beats in pain,

The way the tears fall in desperation,

I want to scream, so damn loud,

But I don’t have any more control,

 

The words tear at my confidence,

Tear it to shreds, deleting existence,

Laughing at my pitiful cries,

Controlling every damn thing,

 

I do want to rid myself of pain,

But I do not believe that it is possible,

To be entirely rid of pain,

And this is my dosage,

 

I have my good days, and my bad,

Something I must accept,

I don’t expect you to understand,

The demons in my head,

 

I don’t even understand them myself,

But it seems they are there to stay,

So, life must continue, once again,

Until the next bad day.