Hurting You

From Point A

My words cut a knife because that’s all I know,

My therapist tells me not to bully self, so I bully you,

You’re growing a backbone and returning my words,

I really wish you would stop,

I’m not going to ask for help because independency is key,

Perhaps if you notice my words you’ll realise I’m not okay,

I want to stop causing your tears, I really do,

I just want mine to never return, more, 

I’m being selfish, yes, that I know,

My words are really nothing but your insecurities,

But you have the comforts told by others,

And I need that,

I’m not jealous of your hair, clothes, or figure,

Of your brains, wit, or nature,

I’m jealous of your friends,

Because they give you what I so desperately need,

 I’m running out of time, so I push harder,

My words growing heavier with each shove,

Your tears a replacement for mine, a pause in time,

Those surrounding us crowing for more of your pain, 

I’m sorry I’m doing this, falling to the feet of society,

My words no longer addressed to you but aimed at myself,

Pathetic, worthless, not important, truly alone,

Please forgive me one day, I don’t mean to hurt you so,

My tears fall at night in time with yours,

Ruining the façade of the person you hate,

All in secret, behind closed doors,

Life losing meaning with each falling tear,  

I know I’m meant to change rules and recreate my future,

But this is all I know, I don’t know any better,

I make up for what I cannot say at my home,

And redirect my pain at you,

I don’t hate you, nor do I believe you have no worth,

You are merely acting as my mirror, not that you know,

This hatred and cowardice that is my tongue,

Is the thing that I fear the most,

Ice cold looks and nasty rumours only fuel my pain,

Throwing corkscrews into my addled mind,

Spreading shattered glass beneath your scarred feet,

Causing turmoil in the hearts of hurt,

No-one will care for my next move,

You will probably sigh in relief,

Your friends, celebrate for the end of your angst,

I will finally be able to rest,  

I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused,

I’m sorry I wasn’t able to ask for your help,

This is not punishment for your growing of backbone,

This is simply my way out,  

You might forever hate me, be glad for me gone,

Turn the next page and never look back,

All I’m asking is that you survive,

Don’t be the recreation of me, because of me,

My tears come on due course at every dusk,

My hatred and cowardice with each punch,

Taking a part of me, taking a part of you,

Causing me to make the final move,

This is me loving myself to say enough,

To finally say enough and take control,

To leave the turmoil and ensure other’s happiness,

By me being gone.

Author's Note

The other point of view is also written, view it on my profile 'Hurting Me'

Reviews

[Jiya]

Nice! 👍🏻................

[WillaDanvers]

Thank You!

[Sinbulvinter]

Wow, this is very expressive and raw. I can relate to it. You have a way with words that reach right into the soul and paint a picture and emotion very clearly. Great job.

[WillaDanvers]

Thank you!

[Sinbulvinter]

No problem. =)

[M.A.]

Whoa so much emotion in this piece, but not over powering. It was a story playing out in my mind. I could see the shattered glass and the girl walking across it. Amazing piece author. Thank you for sharing.

[WillaDanvers]

So glad you could enjoy it :)

[Hebe]

Very strong .... I can feel the emotion you captured the feeling completely. ...

[WillaDanvers]

Thank You!

[maria ( rose)]

would be happy to have you in my group:) you have a lot to share & we would all be glad to review. Just sent you an invite (the best group to get reviews) see you over there !!!!!

[maria ( rose)]

well,I am reading poems/stories for my ''Autumnal Contest'' & I came across this one. which in fact has nothing to do with autumn. Sorry to say that it will be disqualified from the contest. But not disqualified from my heart _''Tears of sorrow'' and a heavy heart. Which has now left me with a lump in my throat.
Just runs with emotional distress felt and inked with grief.Gosh, this is one of those poems where the cries are being heard!
very good write . wish you well. Keep on writing my friend!! :)
maria

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I had to make changes:
to the following instructions they weren't clear and my Apologies go out to members who thought different.
But I wanted to Thank You again and best wishes on future entries.