Eleven Forty PM Titanic

This is a poem I wrote to accompany a short story of the same name.

                                          Eleven Forty Pm (Titanic)

 

                      ‘       Diamond sky reflection tranquil water held

                       A silent beast in waiting for the metropolis of the dead

                      Four eyes that failed to see its secret hidden form

                      Until iron and steel kissed its cheek and a scar was born

                      Teeth bared the wakened monster wailed, with vengeance in its soul

                      It scorned the mighty city retribution then its goal

                      Beneath the tears of god it left a wound that could not heal

                      No amount of arrogance might its anger now appease

                      So it swallowed up the city and some of those within

                      Down into its belly for an eternity of sin

                      Those it left in its tainted wake will not forget its eyes

                      Forever they will talk about her legendary cries

                      Monuments will be created and tender prayers are said

                     About a silent beast in waiting for the metropolis of the dead’

 

                 Will Neill 2017

Author's Note

If you like this poem you may want to read the short story that accompanies it the links to part one and two are. http://www.storystar.com/php/read_story.php?story_id=14633 and http://www.storystar.com/php/read_story.php?story_id=14634 you can comment here on both. Thanks
Will

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Haunting poetry. A poem that will linger, long after being read. So much has been written, so much has been said, but still our thoughts and hearts cry out, to the spirits of the dead.

Chris

[Will Neill]

Christine Anne-again thank you for reading.

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome. It was a pleasure to read your poetry.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Wonderful metaphorically precise poetic summary of tragedy by arrogance! Very nicely written – the form structure adds to the imagery – loved it! :-)

[Will Neill]

Phil-thanks for reading, the Titanic story is close to my heart because my great grandfather worked on the ill fated ship. Thanks again
Will

[Pete]

powerfully impressive and eerily awe-inspiring. this transcends on many levels and demands respect. it leaves it's mark not unlike the wreck itself. thanks to Kelly Scheppers for bringing it to my attention.

[Will Neill]

Pete thank you for taking the time to review my poem-Kelly is a dear friend. Take care.
Will

[Richard McLin]

This is one of the most beautifully haunting pieces I've ever read. You hit the tragedy right on the head and gave it the respect it deserves, but you also didn't hold anything back. I can't tell you how impressed I am with this piece, there are no words. Great job.
-Richard

[Will Neill]

Richard thank you for your kind review. I will return the compliment asap.
Will

[Kelly Scheppers]

"A silent beast in waiting for the metropolis of the dead."

Oh Will, how truly magnificent this is! And to have it only garnish 4 reviews is truly a travesty. Between the lump in my throat and the chills on my arms, my eyes were focused with grave intent to the delivery of each and every line. It is a page of history that will indeed linger within the annals of time. Great pen, my friend...and how wonderful to see you!

[Kelly Scheppers]

...and happy St. Patrick's day, my fellow irish-man!

[Will Neill]

Thanks for the review Kelly-you should read the story that inspired it. Here is the link
http://www.storystar.com/php/read_story.php?story_id=14633 its in two parts so a bit long. Take care.
B'fhéidir go bhfuil saol síochána, grá agus dea-shláinte agat.

[Tate Morgan]

I liked this It was well done. One can barely imagine that night. But hard to forget

[Will Neill]

thanks for the review Tate-very much appreciated.
Will

[Tate Morgan]

You are so welcome . My pleasure

[Taino]

Beautiful tribute and amazing imagery. Incredible poem.

[Will Neill]

Thank you Taino
Will

[Tegon Maus]

I liked it Will !! "Until iron and steel kissed its cheek..." very good !

[Will Neill]

Thanks Tegon, I searched the net to get a poem to go with my story and couldn't find find one I liked so I thought to hell with it I'd do my own-glad you liked it. I hope you and dearheart are doing well. We might not talk again soon so have a happy and peaceful xmas-take Care.
Will.

[Ayvid N]

The first line itself draws the reader. The imagery used is great. I especially loved the beast which I understand as the iceberg that wrecked the great ship. Appreciated very much.

[Will Neill]

Thank you Divya your comments are greatly appreciated. Will

[Ayvid N]

You are most welcome, Will.