Him . . .

He break my heart everyday with any stupid little thing he say like when i say something and then he changes the subject , like when he just doesn't give a s**t , like when he doesn't return a message , like when he doesn't put a "<3 " after goodnight and bla bla bla .. There's nothing about him that i like . He's never nice he's always so mean . He always puts me down . He never said something good about me . He never asked how am i feeling . He never told me that i looked beautiful . And i have no f*****g idea why the hell i can't stop thinking about him . I have no idea why i smile when i see or talk to him . He's my pretty lie . He's my beautiful nightmare .. He is that song that you really hate but it's always stuck in your head . He's like a drug you don't want but you just can't stop cause you got so addicted . A day without him feels so empty . A day with him feels too depressing in a beautiful way . So funny that He was once a stranger that i didn't give a s**t about and now he's my happiness and my sadness at the same time . He just means everything to me . He's one of that guys that have eyes that you could stare in them for a lifetime . Well maybe he's not nice , but he has always been there with every choice and step i took . Maybe he didn't let me in because he's too afraid cause when he once did that he endend up alone . Maybe he's mean cause he doesn't want to hurt me . Maybe he shows hate , because he hides too much behind that hate ... The thing is i can't stop thinking about how amazing he is and how he is such a pain in the a*s at the same way . I don't know if that is love or whatever that is but there is something about him that makes me want to know his story . There's something about him i don't know what it is but it makes wanna hold my breath everytime i'm with him .