Missing Her Old Self

Love, sacrifice, and the bittersweet nostalgia for her old self

She wasn’t the same anymore. And that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing - it was just different.

Once upon a time, she was fearless, bold, and untamed. Words would flow from her lips like a river, unfiltered and unapologetic. She had opinions about everything, and she made sure they were heard. But now? Now she thought twice before speaking. It wasn’t fear, but a quiet wisdom that had settled in her heart. She had learned the power of silence and the value of choosing her words with care.

There was a time when the world was her playground. She would hop on a bus or take a walk whenever she felt like it, exploring new places and finding joy in the smallest adventures. But those carefree days had given way to a new kind of waiting - a patient anticipation for her soulmate to return home from work. She would glance at the clock, her heart warming at the thought of them being together again.

Late nights were once her sanctuary. With the world asleep, she would sit immersed in her crafts, her hands weaving magic through embroidery threads, her mind wandering into the world of art and creation. But now, the late nights had disappeared. She found herself turning off the lights earlier, knowing that morning duties awaited her. The soft calls of "Mommy" and the small but significant rituals of starting her child’s day had replaced the quiet solitude of midnight.

Her crafts and art supplies now sat untouched, gathering a thin layer of dust. They weren’t abandoned out of neglect but out of a shift in priorities. The creative spark she once poured into her work now flowed into helping her child with homework, teaching new words, solving math problems, and watching their little hands grow stronger and more capable.

She had changed.

Her old self wasn’t gone; it had simply evolved. The fearlessness, the spontaneity, the creativity - they were still there, but now they manifested in different ways. It took courage to love selflessly, patience to wait, and creativity to shape the life of a little human being.

She wasn’t the same, but she wasn’t any less. She had embraced a new chapter of her life, and with every change, she found a deeper kind of fulfillment - a love that transcended her old ways and made her feel whole.

And perhaps, when the time was right, she would pick up her embroidery needle again or venture out into the world without a second thought. But for now, she cherished this version of herself, finding beauty in the person she had become.

Because change wasn’t losing oneself - it was growing into someone new, someone stronger, and someone full of love.❤️

Reviews

[Beren]

It's written with such self-awareness and perfect perspective. I swear you are your own best friend. Being able to notice yourself changing and writing down the characteristics that come with it is something that only a very talented person can do. Congratulations on embracing and letting go of your past self and opening yourself up to improving your present self.
I really LOVED this one, I'll read it all over again❤️