Deceptions

A Poem by Whoreable

We are supposed to decieve ourselves
Stitch our wounds with dental floss
Pour cement on tender lacerations
Keep the stickiness inside
Hold your edges like a cardboard cutout
Don't make a sharp turn, you'll tear open
Rinse your mouth with acid to wash out the bad things
God forbid you tell the truth
We are patchwork dolls
Please handle with care
Touch me gently,
and I will fall to pieces
- [ ]

© 2016 Whoreable

Author's Note

Be honest!! Tell me what you think I need to work on, I can handle criticism

My Review

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Reviews

Lee Bakes

Hi,
honestly i like the complexity of your poem, it really gripped me from the first line. Its reflects a lot about modern day consumerism i think (i dont know if that is what you meant, but it is how i see it). I liked how you end on a very poignant note saying that we are in reality so very vulnerable. However there are certain images that confused me a little bit, you are i assume trying to explain at one point of time, about how we are forced to use things like "cement" and "acid" which are both very harsh words. These make it sound as if we are extremely hardy, steely even. On the other hand there are times when you have asked us not to take sharp turns and called us patchwork dolls (showing extreme vulnerability). This i felt was a swing that could have been timed better to drive a point home (only if you wanted). I think that if youplay with this a little more it could be one of the best pieces of work i have read on here. Also I look forward to your view of this poem! please oblige me with one if you will :)
Much love
Lee