Trickster Of The Spinning Wheel

Trickster of the spinning wheel,

Enters my effulgent domain to ratify a deal,

Upon ancient grounds he bows, accompanied by a sly grin,

The evil in his eyes reflecting a lifetime of unrepented sin,

He intends to entomb me in filth,

Amongst his artifice I fear my kingdom shall wilt,

I feel a harrowing ambience amongst his presence,

The aura of precipice weighs down on me with much excrescence,

His soul reflects a red eyed demon of fire,

The urgency for him to vacate my throne room is becoming dire,

He narrows his crimson eyes and smiles wide with rotting yellow teeth,

I shook at the intention beyond; the intention beneath,

"Begone foul creature!

Demon of hell; soul leecher!"

I cried in a broken coarse voice,

Stood with a tall but trembling poise,

Withdrew my sword and thrust it through his breast,

Thousands of glittering mirror shards fell to the ground - I have passed the test.

Reviews

[Rodrick Franklin McLare..]

You have an interesting rather deep vocabulary Kristy, spread out into story land.
I visualized the stories intensity. Being honest, work it again it's worth it find the rhythm with them heavy words. Mind a small example. 2nd line... an simplfy.

Enters effulgent domains an ratify a deal. Points to your subject, creepy guy.
I liked it, polish and you could be awesome with... experience. Work it you.

[Albatross]

Wow, this is an amazing write.. I love the way you constructed it, all the possible innuendos, and the depth involved in this piece. Thank you for sharing :D

[deeps]

I think this is wonderful.
Has a wonderful rhyme scheme and flows very well.
This is a very well written write.