I Can't Look At You

You smile at me,

Then a tight warm embrace,

And then, after another smile,

You turn away.

 

I can't explain why this makes me feel so lost,

I know how you feel about me,

How much you care,

But I also know how I feel about you,

 

That's what scares me most,

I shouldn't feel this way about you,

Especially now,

Whenever I have the boy back that I love with my entire heart,

 

I shouldn't get butterflies when you give me a caring look,

I shouldn't smile whenever your name is brought up in a conversation,

I shouldn't look for you in the halls,

I shouldn't long for your embrace whenever your gone,

 

This happens every time,

Whenever I have him I just feel so incomplete,

All he cares about is that I am a body,

Someone there for his entertainment,

 

But I love him so,

And I take him with his flaw of only loving physically,

I do nothing but try to make him happy,

And he does nothing but make me happy,

 

But you...

I wouldn't be only a body to you,

You would care about me for me,

And never let me hurt...

 

You are so much better for me,

And if I didn't have him I'd have you,

Is that a horrible thing to say?

 

That I love you too,

But he's like a drug and I am addicted,

Losing him again,

Would destroy me forever,

 

I'm sure that you could fix me,

And I could be happy with you,

You would be like the sun,

Make it easy for me to breathe,

 

But my heart would still ache for him,

So I have to hang on,

And hope for him to see past my body,

No matter how much I want you too,

 

I'm sorry, I know that you always  get turned down,

I know that we've just became good friends,

And it's selfish of me to still want to keep you close,

But I can't let either one of you go....

 

Reviews

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Oh my.. this one has the essence of a profound love triangle full of fire.. you are 17 by the bio.. be very careful or the blade may strike by double-edges! It is very hard to keep someone as a friend whom you feel so highly for.. you are young.. explore.. study life. Take your time chosing .. look deeper at each person's goals in life.. but relax and have fun loving yourself.

I know this is some bad motherly advice.. but I have 2 children one is about to be 19.. I can't help that emotion coming out! Your scenario.. can cause much pain for both of them as well as yourself if this is real.. if creative.. you captured the essence of a love triangle perfectly!