Suicide

 

 

          Locked in his room,

       Weeping into his pillow,

            His sanctuary

 

         Isolated from the world,

        Enraptured in his thoughts,

          His mind is unclear,

         As are his intentions

 

             To live a life,

          That he had distorted,

   Or to die before it grows any further

Author's Note

This poem is not about me, mostly

Reviews

[Aileen]

wut is it w/sucide l8tly!!!!!!! omg next person wh rights about killing them selves im going to shoot!!!! tht doesnt make much sence but....
powerfull. and kind of true for me. hope not 4 u. if u ever nead anyone to talk to let me now. im always here 4 u.
keap up th great work
ur friend
Aileen

[Raj]

Painful.

I wish there was a bit more. The words are clear, but you could've build it a bit. Still good work.

[Arsenic]

This is good but you can do better. I would extend it some. Go more into depth about what he's feeling. Why's he's feeling it. What you have is good though.

[Jason Henry]

i dunno, i liked the last line actually...it gets better and better!

[Lexy]

I don't like the last line: "Or to die before it grows any further." I know what you're saying, but that doesn't seem like the right way to say it. Ryan, I think you could do a little better with this poem. It starts off good, but it just gets worse. No offense, though. I want you to get better at this.