Unrecognised

A short, descriptive piece. Not much and not my best, but gets across a lot in a little description and allows your mind to wonder.

The air begins to flake away. 

Hostile rain eradicates all oxygen within my cell, maintaining the feeling of concern in the midst of its virtue. Fearless clouds plunder the sky. As if permanently painted, the heavens wear a deep shade of purple; the sun reluctant, not wanting to witness the barbaric events planned of the day in waiting. In the distance, the innocent ring of the church bells summon six o'clock across the town. My ears turn the sweet chimes into blunt claws mutilating my existence with every sound. 

Realisation taunts me. My lungs drop, my head descends, my world turns slower as my heart beats faster in a desperate attempt to push my ribcage out of the barricade that my skin creates. My mind fumbles into a frantic flurry of emotions. I collapse to the ground, wishing for this day to be over before it has even begun. 

Author's Note

What do you think is happening?
What do you think they have done?
What do you think they are going to do?

Please let me know of any improvements! x

Reviews

[emmajoy]

There's great passion in your writing. But, where's the emotion beckoning to the reader? Wondering if it could be a birth of some sort or heralding an eclipse, end of the world? Guess I'm a lousy reviewer could seems obscure.. sad though, cos there are seeds of something great and good here. ' The air begins to flake away. ~ Hostile rain eradicates all oxygen within my cell, maintaining the feeling of concern in the midst of its virtue.'

[Whisty_x]

I haven't finished it yet dont worry :) I was just testing the waters to see whether people enjoyed it enough for me to continue. I also don't know where I'm taking it as of yet. But thank you for your comment! :)