The Move

A Chapter by Rae

Moving approximately 1,679.6 miles away... GREAT (Eye roll)

The bus goes past all these trees and animals every morning, yet this feels like the first time I'm actually seeing them. It's been a long wet, rainy day. I've always loved the rain especially running in it. I pass huge creeks of flowing water that's crushing the long green grass, like a despot crushing his citizens and servants under his grubby thumb. Strange how precise these tiny raindrops are, landing directly in my giant brown eyes. The clouds in Washington have always had an opulent amount of water stuck in them, never waiting too long to fall through the sky, giving people hybrid illusions about any and everything. People change when it rains. Some people get headaches, like one of my teachers, and others just want to be a part of it, like me. It's a strange affinity I know and they have a name for it because people always have to have a name for something otherwise they'll freak out cause they don't know what it's supposed to be. That’s people for you. Some days when I'm feeling really creative or just... weird, I like to pretend that I control the rain and the wind or that a loved one that has long since passed is letting me know that the can see me and feel my pain. So they cry for me. And when it's windy outside they're trying to hug me and let me know that I'm loved.

Lately, I've been the effigy of tired. It's strange because I always go to bed at the same time and fall asleep, but not really. I can't help but feel like I haven't gotten a full night's rest unless I can feel the tiredness subside in my bones and my chest and my eyes. I just need to feel the weight of sleep float of me in order to actually feel like I've actually gotten sleep.

I have a pretty mediocre life. I have four sisters and a rambunctious little brother that loves to fart in people’s faces (He's three). We all live in very close proximities but our relationships are the opposite. To put it simply, I'm the feline while everyone else is canine or simian like. The most facile things become twenty times harder because no one wants to do anything (Myself included). Even homework is a pain without motivation.

My whole life was flipped upside down the moment my parents decided to buy a house all the way in Omaha. All of my reprisals against the move had failed miserably and I packed all my things into boxes once again. This is the first time I actually don't want to move. As a child I had been moving around a lot due to cps and poor choices my mother has made. I've been to countless elementary schools, three middle schools and now two high schools. It's my junior year, I finally have friends and established a reputation, a fairly decent one I might add. I felt accepted, the feeling was all but transient at the time. This move was not spontaneous. We've been planning on buying a house for over a year now, I just wasn't aware that the move was going to be so huge! That once great feeling was replaced with the thought that this move was somehow punitive.

The 25 hour drive (1,679.6 mi, thank you google) to Omaha was prosaic. I hate long car rides, I have severe motion sickness that forced us to pull over a few times. I'd much rather be running on the jogging route I also had established in the town I was perfectly happy in.

We pull into the last rest stop between us and the new house (I still don't have a clue as to what it looks like.) My mom gives me a five and a few ones to get some snacks. My little brother grabs my hand with his sticky ones and pulls me along. I lift him up into my arms and carry him the rest of the way, subtly tickling his sides making him squeal in delight and irritation. I get him a small bag of Doritos and pick out a few cookies for me and my sisters. The lady at the register is missing a few teeth but her smile is so radiant it takes away some of my ruefulness. May and Susie are playing tag in the muddy grass, still drying from the long winter without snow but plenty of rain. May is the second oldest, then there's Katy the step sister and Susie the youngest girl and then Tanner my baby brother (I call him bub because I went through a wolverine phase and the nickname just stuck) is almost four. Susie and Katy are the same age but Katy was born a few months before Susie, they're both eight and gap toothed. May recently turned ten and thinks she's all that since she hit her double digits and doesn't have a flat chest anymore. As for me I'm nearly seventeen and a newly licensed driver. We all have a love hate relationship but then again what kind of sisters don't?

I pass out the assorted cookies and the relationship is back on love. It takes away more of my ruefulness to see their gappy smiles and red dimpled cheeks. No matter where the relationship is, I'm stuck with these girls so I might as well love them and I do. My mom and dad go on a little walk to stretch their legs and return with a loaf of bread. The girls race to them, snatch the bread and gambol to the little flock of birds that have been eyeing us with their beady black eyes ever since we parked. I'm tempted to run towards them, screaming my head of like a maniac, but I don't. (My sisters would hate me again). Instead I sit down on a wooden bench and plug my headphones into my phone. My current favorite song is From Now on We Are Enemies by Fall Out Boy. My head subconsciously starts bobbing with the music, then I start humming and now I'm singing.

"I thought you said you weren't going to sing anymore." My mother says with a sly smile on her face. She knows I can't help it. The day before we set off on our new adventure (That’s what my mother is calling it.) I reverted back into the mentality of a toddler and vowed that I would never sing again if we moved to our Omaha house. Later I realized I was punishing myself more than my mom.

"I didn't mean to." I cross my arms and furrow my thick eyebrows and blow air out of my flaring nose.

"Hun, I know that this is hard for you," She says as she sits next to me and puts an arm around my shoulders. "But it's going to get better and in the long run it's the best for all of us. Your father is going to get paid more than he was at his old job." she sighs when I don't make an attempt to unfurrow my brows and look at her. "You'll have your own room." She playfully nudges me. I can never stay mad at my mom. She used to be an alcoholic, a few times she went berserk, but the last time she went too far. Now she's so much better and I'm so proud of her. So I give her a small smile. She knows I'm not happy but at least she knows I'm not entirely mad at her. Mostly at my dad, I mean come on there are plenty of jobs in Everett.

She smiles at me again and plants a kiss on my cheek. "Tanner! Don't you dare!" She hollers and is now on her way to guide my brother away from the pond of a puddle. I can't help but laugh. I start humming again, careful to contain my singing desire. I've been singing all my life and not to brag but I'm pretty good at it. I just love feeling the vibrations of my vocal chords and when I harmonize, all my nerves explode and I hit a state of euphoria. Basically it's amazing. I love all kinds of music, not equally though, I am human. I have a James Brown vinyl record and no record player, I will never get rid of it though I’m just waiting for my chance to hear that supposedly foudroyant sound that record players give music.

My father is tragically uxorious to my mother, it's kind of sweet (and weird because well, they are my parents). He loads Tanner into his elaborate car seat and prattles goofily to my sisters to get them into the car. Again, so weird.

And we’re off once again. My legs are already starting to cramp up. . But it works and we set off again, our final destination…our new home.

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