Day 68

Drugs had always been a part of my life. I was always fascinated at the fact a small tiny pill was able to bring so much relief or cause so much internal and external damage to a person within moments of swallowing it. There were so many different kinds, different purposes and so many ways to obtain them. Marijuana, Percocet, Adderall, Vyvanse, Xanax, Coke, Ecstasy, and much more. I almost wanted to try them all.

When a friend of mine had asked me to come toke with him I obliged out of sheer boredom. I could have gone months and months and months without feeling deprived so it didn’t bother me much at all not having the chance to smoke. However, when I arrived, he invited me to try something a bit more extreme. Sitting in his living room was a mass amount of people I either met once or twice or didn’t know at all, passing around a water bong like it was nobody’s business. But my friend, Collin, led me away somewhere a bit more private-- the bathroom. Walking in he cracked the door behind us and reached for something underneath the sink. Curiously I listened to what he had asked of  me and climbed into the bathtub, leaving room for him to follow.

* * *

I flashed him a soft grin from across the bathtub our legs sprawled out between one another as we sat neatly in his silent bathroom. With the doors locked and water running from the sink he tightly balled his hand into a fist and startled to wrap a thick leather belt around the pale skin of his bicep, using his teeth to tighten it. He exhaled slowly feeling the circulation in his arm start to slow as he irregulated the blood flow. Resting neatly between our legs was a fairly large plate, two thick metal spoons, a lighter, cotton swabs, two rigs and a balloon. He reached for the balloon and slowly tore back the rubber lining to reveal a thick, dense black substance that looked almost gooey at first look.

“Are you ready?” he smiled politely flashing a toothy grin in my direction as he continued to warm the substance in the spoon. I swallowed hard feeling the nothingness within my throat burn intensely as I let my arm rest against the pale white edge of the bathtub. I rolled my fingers into a fist and watched as the vein popped a bit more than it already was, resting fragile and open underneath my skin. He grabbed my hand and slowly lifted the rig(already filled) and pressed the gentile needle against my slightly freckled arm, slowly dancing it along my vein until he reached just below the bend in my arm.

Before I had any chance to protest I let the thin needle slide into my vein. I watched him slightly push down onto the rig, and small strings of blood shoot back into the dark brown substance before he slowly added more into my bloodstream. I kept my hand balled into a fist until he finally pulled away, settling himself against the back end of the wall he watched me lifelessly letting amusement flush his facial features. I started at the rig settled against the skin of my arm. My veins popping and my body completely aware yet unaware I wasn’t sure what exactly I was supposed to do next… but I didn’t care. I was infinite at that moment. I let my head slowly slide back and hit the bare wall, the sound of rushing water becoming more and more apparent in my brain I twisted my lips into a thick smile and felt my eyelids get heavier. I was infinite.

That was how it was supposed to be.