Day 40

Turns out that guy Collin? He and I had a sick similarity.

I found him later on during the shoot after all had died down, and everyone was more interested in their small group chatting instead of the more persistent meet-and-greet atmosphere. Walking into the parking lot, I found the very same man who was potentially going to assault me, shooting up in his car on the far side of the lot where I had parked. Slightly panicked,  I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to get his attention with a needle shoved into his vein. Hovering over the passenger side window, I surveyed the area silently before lightly tapping on the thick glass. Startled, he shot me a sharp glance, already attempting to rip the belt from around his bicep.

“What the hell are you doing? It’s seven thirty and you’re shooting up dope in your f*****g car?!,” I snapped, throwing open the door. Slamming it shut, I slumped into the dark seat slowly and scanned the dashboard of his car, ripping on the glove box and all. Inside I found several cotton swabs, various syringes and a pack of cigarettes. He only stared at me for a short moment, before peeling the belt away from his skin as the last of the melted drug slid into his veins. Cringing a bit, I watched his arm start to darken, bruises forming around the entree spot. It was obvious from the track marks it wasn’t his first encounter with the drug.

“Tell me why you’re still sitting in my car and not calling the cops or something,” he began, smacking his fingers along the entree point multiple times to assure the bleeding would stop. “I mean, sexual assault and drugs. You definitely got me beat.” he joked lightly, although I heard the doubt in his voice. Kicking my feet against the mat, I heard a sharp cracking noise underneath my feet. “Would you pay a little more attention you c**t?!” he shot back at me, throwing his free arm down towards my legs. I flinched away quickly feeling my heart race pick up as he frantically started picking up a multitude of pills and capsules. Gazing at the small array of pills I grabbed one instinctively and set it on the dash, slowly examining it as he grabbed for the rest.

“Why don’t you do us both a favor and get out of my car eh? I know you’re not going to tell anyone so you might as well just-”

“Do you have a razor?” I said a bit too quickly. Looking up from the floor- already drowsy and weary- he pulled back and pointed to the ash tray. Quickly opening the slot I stared in to find three sharp razor blades resting peacefully inside. I scanned the parking lot quickly before gently pulling out the sharp metal object. Careful not to slice my hand I exhaled slowly and gripped the metal, knowing he was going to judge me no matter how many times he swore he wouldn’t.

“Just f*****g do it already--”
“Don’t!... Don’t even start with me.” I said my voice a little shaken. Lifting his arms up defensively he flashed me a twisted grin and let his head fall back against the headrest of his seat and gaze at the ceiling absently. Letting my body settle for a brief moment I looked out the windows one last time to be sure of myself no one was watching. It’s not that I was worried someone would catch us- which was highly unlikely- I just didn’t want him to see me doing it.

Whoever he was.

It continued after that. Almost routinely it seemed as if we had been doing it for years and years. I was a pure wreck whenever Collin would call me, asking me if I wanted to “hangout” with him after he got out of a meeting or if I wanted to “go out to lunch” with him. Everything in me was telling me no, but my body ached for it. I was far too willing to pick up that phone and agree to whatever date he had planned for us.

Checking my watch frequently I stood absently outside his large office building. The door man, questioning on a multitude of levels as if I was a lost hobo looking for change. Which was understandable; I wasn’t dressed for anything special. I looked like a lost puppy at the queens coronation ceremony. Standing outside his building I should have expected the very thing I feared but I instead let it slip my mind.

He was there.

Phone in hand, rolex wrapped securely around his wrist, he stood there and stared at me briefly. Shaky I threw my hand around my wrist and looked away having half the mind to bolt from the scene. He looked slightly panicked as he stared at me. Checking his watch every few minutes until it escalated to harassing the doorman, asking him what was taking so long for his car to arrive. It was a bit startling seeing someone who had been so nice to you once turn into the spawn of Satan himself when they’re in a twisted mood.

He started to cough after his screaming fit. It was spread out-- every few minutes he would cough, and then it shortened to every matter of seconds he would start to laugh uncontrollably.

“Are you alright?” I mustered up the courage to ask, rushing over to him as he held his chest securely, hunching himself over. The look he gave me was pure rage but he had no air left to speak. I looked at the door man frantically who had already had a phone in hand to call an ambulance.

“Okay look,” I said, trying to forcefully straighten him out. “Hunching over isn’t going to help you breath. Stand up!” I instructed trying to balance myself in the process. He did so at a slower pace than I would have hoped but it was progress. “Now lift your arms above your head!” I said. The life in his eyes was starting to fade, as the coughing became more intensified. “Keep them up! Higher!” I said trying to fight against his persistence.

Once his arms were raised, his chest started to expand and flatten at a quicker pace, but he was taking in air more fluently. By this time a whole crowd of people had stopped their schedules to watch him suffer in pain and agony. As the ambulance arrived, so did Collin.

“Hey what’s wrong with that guy?” I asked, chewing on my bottom lip. He gave me a smirk, throwing an arm around my shoulder for a short moment and then returned my question with a shrug. “Marc? Don’t know. Don’t care enough to learn. So don’t worry about it alright? It’s not like he coughed up a lung. He probably just has  asthma.” he tightened his grasp around my neck with his bicep and started to pull me forwards, heading through the mass of people.