Day 32

I liked to believe I was the closest thing to indestructible. Nothing could break me more than I already was. So why the hell was I sitting in a psychiatry office waiting for a doctor?

Gazing at the clock periodically,  my muscles started to stir, and my body protest having been sitting in a office couch for what seemed to be hours. Except, only a few minutes had come to pass. Scanning the small room,  I let my sweaty hands rub hard against my thighs, the tingling sensation a bit calming. The doctor had a collection of old paintings I would never know the names of sprung out across each wall; that of which was painted a deep orange.

His desk was fairly large, positioned next to a window for proper lighting. He had several potted plants scattered across the floor: one to the left as you walked in, two on either side of the window, just growing underneath the height of the ledge, another in the far left corner of the room, and one stationed on his desk. No pictures of any family positioned anywhere within the room, and he had more pairs of shoes to count scattered across the floor.

Maybe he was into gardening? A shoe maker?

“Good morning,  Ms. Noir! Glad you could make it to my earlier session. I had a bit of a situation last night so my apologies.” Dr. Geoff took a seat as his desk, setting down a large file filled to the rim. The papers inside were all sloppy and there was a mess facing all different directions. I’m sure each one went to a different case, but I wasn’t about to ask. There was no, no way, those papers all belonged to me.

“Oh uhm, don’t worry about it. I don’t have another shoot until noon.” I smiled brightly trying to convince him I was perfectly fine with it. Truth be told, I was more than exhausted, and my nerves were completely shot. I needed him last night. Now, I could care less about talking to him.

“Oh! Where are you shooting today? Downtown?” he smiled, taking his glasses from around his neck. He placed them steadily on the bridge of his nose and stared blankly at the papers sprawled across his desk. I watched for a short moment, wondering if he could even read still before giving a slight nod.

“Ah yeah… I’m taking pictures of a business gathering. Something involving a new product line is being released, so I have to get pictures of the live showing. Kind of excited actually.” This was in fact a big step in my career. I wasn’t much of an event photographer, but it was something I had always wanted to do. I had dreams of traveling outside Chicago and going to New York and Spain, taking pictures of anything and everything. I let my smile fade into a distraught smirk, my eyes peering down at my crossing fingers.”But I think everything will turn out alright.” I flashed Dr. Geoff a deep grin, and then the questioning began.

I was late for the showing.

Throwing myself out of my car I threw on my coat and quickly rushed over the the large marble staircase in the main public library. The building itself was massive. Several floors, several hundreds of shelves and thousands of books lined almost each wall of the building. Old and aged books were scattered alphabetically, generically, and by size across the massive building. My cameras were swung over my shoulder as I marched up the stairs a bit boldy, my shoes smacking the stairs hard and determined making them resonate throughout. Winding around the turn, I reached the top floor and dropped my cameras lightly against the velvet carpeting. There were two directions I could pick:  I could either go through the door in front of me, or walk down the long hallway and enter through that way. I raised my arms behind my head and coughed hard, catching whatever was left of my breath. Using a free hand to straighten my glasses, I grumbled and grabbed my bag, darting down the long hallway. Making sure I had enough time to stop, I kicked my feet into the carpet quickly and extended my arm, ready swing the door open.

Well the door did in fact swing open. Knocking me square in the face, I almost fell backwards from the impact of the thick old wood smacking against my bare face. I closed my eyes and winced, throwing my hands onto my nose that was now bruised and oozing droplets of blood. “Oh s**t!” I shouted a bit too loudly having been taken back completely. I opened my eyes one at a time hoping I hadn’t been knocked by someone important. Starting at his feet, I noticed his shiny grey Allen Edmonds, tied neatly and straight. Next was his sleek dark blue slacks which of course matched that of his vest. The man mumbled something to an associate and handed him his drink, taking a step towards me.

“Are you alright?” I heard the joke in his tone as he grabbed the sides of my arms.

“Uh no I’m-” I felt my face start to flush with red as he grabbed my hands and pulled them away from my mess of a face. Tears started to swell within the ducts of my eyes as pain started to surge throughout the extend of my facade. In my best attempt I tried to jerk away, but he tightened his grasp around my arms and gave me a sleek grin, lowering his eyes for a short moment.

“You know it’s not that bad. I could always fix it up for you if you’d like..?” he motioned down the hall, pointing towards a bathroom or two. Flinching away I kicked my foot back to steady myself and strained as I dragged myself away from him defensively, feeling my skin start to crawl underneath his touch “No! I’m okay I swear!” I screeched knowing he’d try to grab me again. I let my equipment hit the floor idiotically in front of the doorway to the presentation  room-- the doors wide open at that point. No one in the room seemed to notice anything however, too busy drinking far to early in the morning and chattering about money and corporate things I’m sure they could care less about on most days.

“Collin, what are you doing to the photographer?” My back was turned to the male I had come to know as Collin. Body shaking in exasperation, I drew a hand on top of my nose and closed my eyes hoping to spare myself of anymore embarrassment. I bent over and reached for my things, blood flying onto the expensive carpet.

“Miss, are you alright?” the new voice chuckled. I braced myself for another sexual encounter but was greeted by something else. A pocket hankie. Pure white and silk.  He shoved it into my hand and grabbed my things off the floor. I gave a weak smile, toothy and jagged. I was to the extent of embarrassment I thought I was going to pass out. I quickly remembered he had asked if I was alright and nodded swiftly, pressing the hankie to my nose lightly. He gave me a fair smile, bright and sharp. He was wearing a grey worn vest with a white collared undershirt. His hair was long--longer than I had actually expected a product manager would ever have, and gelled back atop his head, sides trimmed. His eyes were a pale bright hazel; golden even as he stared at me.

“Collin, leave the photographer be. She has a job to do, and so do you.” he barked back at his friend, who threw his hands up as if he had been caught committing a crime.

“Alright, alright..” he said with a smile rolling of his tongue. Turning away he gave me a brief wink and disappeared into the loud room behind him. I turned to give my mystery man a smile but he had already disappeared behind Collin. I can’t say I wasn’t disappointed because I wanted to properly thank him for saving me from absolute sexual doom, but I was glad he had disappeared. He was far too beautiful to look at. Taking a step forwards to follow into the ground of people, I felt and heard a sick crunching noise underneath my feet. Throwing a quick eye to the floor, I groaned and stepped back quickly. Pissed off and enraged by life, I grimaced angrily and marched into the room.

I had broke my glasses. I was far from indestructible.