Music Store

A Chapter by Enigma

I didn’t care much for the small jobs I do for Beck because he is also my Psychiatrist. He’s more of a malpractice sort of doctor… But he does help me whenever he realizes I am distressed or hurting inside. There was a day when I was about fifteen and I was sitting outside and I couldn’t stop crying because I felt like I was exploding in the inside. My head was swimming and my brain was telling me to do nothing but cry. So my sister, unsure of what to do called Beck and he came over and made me stand up. I cried harder.

Really hard. In fact I wasn’t sure I was even crying because everything blurred together. He asked me what was wrong, and I said I couldn’t breathe and my head hurt. So then he asked me if I wanted to go to the Zoo. I stopped crying. I wheezed hard hoping to regain my breath, and he gave me a towel to wipe my face and we went to the zoo.

Animals always calmed me down. The innocence of their survival had always puzzled me. I wanted nothing more than to be an animal, and escape the world because they I wouldn’t be looked at different. I would be considered a freak. I’d just be an animal. Doing what animals do…

September 15^th

I sat inside the Music store with my one and only friend Morgan and we sorted the CD’s, marking down prices and doing the usual store clerk duties. He and I had been friends for as long as I could remember. He even got me the job I have now. He asked me a lot of questions about Beck and how my family was doing. He always asked me questions. It made me feel like I was more than important, because no one ever asked me questions.

Fraisher had walked into the store that day, which made my blood pressure rise higher than I ever thought possible. Shee smiled and gave me a wave. I smiled and looked back at her as though no one was watching. Morgan shoved me, giving me a serious look. I flinched and slithered over to the counter and watched Fraisher silently.

She was beautiful.

I mumbled under my breath, letting my fingers tap hard against the counter stop. Her physique was beautiful. Everything about her was beautiful and I couldn't help but notice.
Although Morgan got tired if my constant staring and came over to consult me.

"Either make them buy something or stop being a creep." He mumbled, shoving my head. I blinked, finally noticing the other person in the store. It was a friend of hers, somewhat taller but shorter than I. She was fierce and full of energy, laughing up a storm as she walked over to me.
I laughed, because Frashier laughed.

Maybe if I laughed she'd smile at me too.
"My name is Elaine, and this is Frashier." Elaine grinned. So I grinned. She handed me a couple magazines and I stared hard at them wondering what it was she liked about them. The hunky musicians, the gossiping articles or simply just the pictures… I didn't know. Eyeing Frashier I handed Elaine a receipt and smiled.

            "Hey umm... I was wondering if maybe I could have your number..? Frashier told me you--"
            "Yes." I said. Grabbing the receipt I quickly scribbling down my number. She blinked before turning to Frashier and handing it to her. My heart ached inside my chest watching her smile disappear. Morgan hummed silently exchanging looks with a few more employees.
            "Alright well... I'll call you." Elaine smiled hard. They left the store and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes in silence.
            "Dude. Wake up." Morgan smacks my face lightly. I opened my eyes and exhaled hard, gasping for air as the situation finally hit me. He gave a reassuring smile and went back to work.    "You clearly don't talk to girls often.." he chuckled. I thought about it long and hard. I really had only ever talked to my mom and my sister. They were girls. I shrugged slowly staring at my silent phone. When was she going to call? I didn't really care for Elaine. I was hoping Frashier would be the one to call. They both had my number...
            That evening I had a session with Beck at his office. He stared long and hard at me, watching me play with small objects like pens and pencils.

"So Morgan told me you gave a girl your number…" He started. "Two of them as a matter of fact. What were their names?" He scribbled something down.
"Frashier Eve, and Elaine." I mumbled. I sprawled out on the couch, and buried the pillows atop my numb face.

"Well Sym, you should be happy." Why should I be happy? "You are finally making some good progress." He smiled. I watched him through the openings in the pillows and mumbled under my breath. I never really liked anyone as much as I had this one girl named Genie. She was smart, beautiful, courageous and accepting. Whenever she smiled my heart pounded and I couldn't help but feel happy. She was good to me until I had hurt her…
I gripped my pillows and started to sob. It was only a matter of time before ire happened so I didn't fight it. I just felt sick to my stomach and wanted to leave. Beck obliged and decided to drive me home. I tried to stop crying for his sake, knowing he'd get mad eventually but it only made things worse. In theme car we listened to "Timeless" by Airborne Toxic Event, and by the end of the song I couldn't think properly. The lyrics were more than enough to stop my water works, but my anxiety soon kicked in so I was frantic and paranoid the whole ride.

Beck didn't ask why, he just have me a few looks here and there making sure I was still okay. When we reached my apartment I got out of the car and started shaking nervously as my phone rang. Beck gave me a serious look and said only one thing.

            "Forget Genie, before you forget yourself." I watched his eyes go cold and went inside. I answered my phone with a hoarse tone but I tried to be polite as possible.
            "Hello?" After all my crying my own voice startled me. It was rough and deprived.
            "Hey... It's that girl from the record store. Frashier Eve." I almost dropped my phone hearing her say her name. Unlocking the door rough my apartment Charlie barked loudly greeting me with light nudges and constant tail wagging. I coughed and quickly remember I was on the phone.
            "Hey--"
            "You have a dog?! That's so cute!" she exclaimed. I shrugged without realising she wouldn't be able to see it. Taking my shirt off I went upstairs into my room and sat on my bed.
            "I’m sorry for calling so late. I was goanna call sooner but I didn't know when you got of work..."
            "It's okay."
            "I was just somewhat lonely, my family is asleep so I just wanted someone to talk too." She said with a short smirk. I listened to her breathe softly.

Maybe she liked me enough to call.. Or maybe she was just out of options.
"Frashier," I bit my tongue hard realising the conversation wasn't going anywhere. "You're very pretty." I choked out. "I mean... Never mind." My heart sank. What was it with me saying she's pretty? I could help it...

She was beautiful like Genie...
"Thank you Symphony. I really do appreciate it." she giggled.

I smiled.

            After that she asked me a series of questions about my family and my job. I really wasn't doing anything buried giving short responses and smiling. I couldn't stop smiling. I felt like I was in a whole new world when she spoke to me. Eventually it got late and our conversation ended. She said her goodbye and goodnight and hung up the phone. I quickly saved her number and just stared at it.
            "865-822-8189... 865-822-8189.." I whispered over and over again. Charlie jumped in bed, nudging me with her nose. I smiled hard at the number, and just let everything in my mind disappear for once. Everything was gone and I could just think... So I did.
            I thought about Genie.

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