Cecil

Cecil jumps on pavement cracks

she says she craves bad luck

Cecil has long, dark hair

and she whips people with it

when she is euphoric with drugs

Cecil rips flowers out of the ground

and singes them with her tired lighter

she said she will not respect nature

as nothing respects her

Cecil tells me to stop being soft

and to run on stones with no shoes on

her feet are so bloody

and she says her outfit is complete

Cecil has lit a fire in her mind

and has put herself on it

she burned and burned

and nothing can resurrect her

Author's Note

This piece is simplistic so the basic narrative was intentional. Please let me know your thoughts and feelings when reading this poem, that is what I am really interest in. Thanks!

Reviews

[Iris]

Cecil sounds like one of those angry people that feel as of everyone deserves to be treated as they were. Maybe their life was a piece of cake maybe it wasn't, but every one around them sure feels the backlash. They feel life can't get any worse, and true, sometimes it can't.
The last four lines were really good, keep writing Alex.

[W.k.kortas]

I think the "simplistic" nature you note is a wise tack here--the piece reads, to my ear, almost like an anti-nursery rhyme, which I think requires a certain lack of adornment and flowery langauge. Tuat and tight, and terrific work.

[Wórdsmíth]

It's no good to take someone's life but sometimes, humans negotiate that they're humans not "animals" & act like a predator. Very strong point of views you've come up with. Interestingly pen'd up. It's a very unique way i've seen/read in someone's write who writes so smoothly 'bout things & manages characters so well. Nice. You've seemed to be treasured Cecil's life writing a poetry ov'r brutality. Nice flow of ink.

[Alex]

Thank you very much for your kind review~
Alex

[aranciata]

I really liked Cecil, and the fact that you made her so likeable in just a few lines? Kudos to you. Simple, but explanatory at the same time; brilliant job.

_aranciata_

[Alex]

Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked it!

[Neville]

It would seem that you have made available to the world something that is precisely as you have indicated.

From a more objective perspective, I think you have captured a series of moments, a situation or circumstance and penned a unique little literary number... Bravo, N

[Alex]

Thank you very much, I love your thoughts on this, much appreciated!

[Neville]

My pleasure entirely N

[MomzillaNC]

Your style is very dialectically direct and concise.

NOTES: I recommend another pass for copy edits, focusing on grammar and word/tense choice

[Alex]

Haha yes, that is my style- spot on. Thanks for the help Mom-z!

[MomzillaNC]

yw :)

[Amy J]

I don't know how you do it, but every piece I've read of your's is so simplistic yet intrinsicly self contained and complicated!
This is incredible! I genuinely love this!
Thank you!

[Alex]

Thank you for your compliments, they're very sweet and flattering! I'm so so glad you've enjoyed reading this, thank again for your praise and for taking your time to review!

[KeeD]

Cecil seems like she might be out there, in the dark corners of the eyes of many a unknowing.
I feel her speak sweet nothings in the gallows of fallen dreams and lost cause, like a conscience pricking thorns of a rose that once was. What do you have to lose when you have nothing to lose, I think a dash of Cecil is beneficial

[Alex]

Again, I completely love your thoughts on this piece and thank you for truly understanding the character so well. I'm thrilled that Cecil, for you, could be 'out there', I always strive to be realistic and relatable so this is awesome! Yes yes yes you're so right and also very interesting that you see her as somewhat 'beneficial', a lot of other readers thought she was a hellish mess so thanks for your take on this- I love it!

[The Twin Arenas]

This is my favourite piece of yours.

"tired lighter"

that's amazing stuff.

[Alex]

Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed reading it, its much appreciated!

[Jesse Booker]

Very interesting read. It kind of reminds me of "Come Together" by The Beatles. It could be read as Cecil being a metaphor for destitution as a whole and the poor state of humanity's "spirit". I enjoyed it very much.

[Alex]

Ah, I think I've found The Beatles reference haha! Thank you for your thoughts, I'm loving the metaphor idea and I totally see where you're coming from- I didn't even think about that before you said it so thanks! Much appreciated.