And I'm Ready

And I'm Ready

A Story by Alex

Finding a solution is all that this is, I say to myself to tempt my head.

Like an itch that needs to be scratched... no that sounds nauseous,

like a Professor f*****g a university student.

It's got to be done, it's fate, it's the only conclusion to be reached.

Like a lonely, bored housewife and a martini maker,

yes, perfect!


But why do I feel so weak, so incapable.

It's got to be done, its got to be done,

I chant it so it's embedded.

When there is a problem Ed, you have got to fix it.

You have got to fix it for your wife and your daughter,

and your future twin sons.

You have to protect them, it's your f*****g job.


Her obsession had driven us to this,

stood on her lawn at 3.27am on the dot.

I'm 7 minutes late  on my end of the bargain.


She isn't right.

She is wrong.

I conclude this,

and I'm ready...

© 2015 Alex


Author's Note

Alex
Any reviews would be helpful, I am not sure whether to write the ending or let the reader find their own interpretations. Please let me know your thoughts!

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Reviews

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
JC
This hits us strong and hard right out of the gate, images of unstoppable desires and the sometimes freight train course of life certain decisions will make... as a poem and as is it is perfect for being provocative, coy and thought provoking... as a potential novel it is a great beginning to lure us in...either way it hit me like all your others.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Alex

9 Years Ago

Thank you for your opinions on this piece, I'm glad it affected you! Yes I will definitely return to.. read more
At the core of this piece is something enigmatic, and thought provoking.
Keep working with it!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Alex

9 Years Ago

Thank you for your thoughts, I agree that it needs work but I'm glad it caught your attention. Thank.. read more
I like the mystery behind it. I think the lack of information works up to a point but the realness of it leaves me wanting to know more! As a short piece i think it works well like this, i could also see a longer, more detailed story developed around it- so if there's more to it for you definitely do this!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Alex

9 Years Ago

Thank you! Yes, it's quite frustrating to read haha. Thanks for sharing your opinions, I completely .. read more
I like how real it is. Well done!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Alex

9 Years Ago

I'm very glad you liked it- thank you for reviewing!
I think you should let readers draw their own conclusion. This is a stunning short tale though! :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


Alex

9 Years Ago

Thank you for your opinion, its very helpful! Much appreciated :)
I like the mystery behind this. Can be thought of several ways. For me, I see a wife struggling to keep her family together while another woman is trying to pull it apart. The last four lines for me add to the mystery "A will I stay or go because I am ready to let you walk" feeling.

I hope I am not way off here. I like it though

Posted 9 Years Ago


Alex

9 Years Ago

Yes, I'm glad you understood the story and were able to draw conclusions! Thank you for your thought.. read more
Feeling and situations are quite beautifully described.
Like an itch that needs to be scratched and many more
Background Story is also very nice.
keep sharing maam

Posted 9 Years Ago


Alex

9 Years Ago

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it- much appreciated :)
Hello Alexandra!

I rarely get into this because people often ask about getting reviews but what they mean is:"Could you say something nice about my writing please?" So as you requested one and at the risk of yet another episode I will tr my best.

Writings have forms like it or not. Even those trying to write beside, above, in between and feel that they're indeed at the avant - garde of writing if they're serious enough about what they do they will have a intellectual foundation. I'm presented wit a story that seems to want to run fervorously to it's vaguely related sibling Poetry. All the faithfull servants of writings which seem to be used by you , punctuation so on so forth seem conciously guided towards given the reader a linear sort of emotional ride. It came to me very fluidly. In my head I ould have imagined this font 12 on times, imprision the stanzas look-alikes replaced by prose - spine power with fervorous punctuation. The theme. Naught naughty... But like my good friend Mike Patton sang so eloquently when I was younger: "It's always fun until somone gets hurt" The situation described here is a dangerous cocktail and although we do not know how it will progress that right there is as much as one could say. The emotional rollercoaster that the "youngest" will embark is not really developed yet. As a man "only another brick in the wall" yet another conquer. So although I relate to the obsessive stand. He is just projectin what he cannot , sorry let's re - phrase , should not have.

Thankyou for the request



Posted 9 Years Ago


Alex

9 Years Ago

Haha I understand completely your hesitation reviewing an ask however, I really just needed some hel.. read more
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
SEO
This is a really intriguing story but I think I want to know where it's headed and maybe a little more background if that's possible. I think having a vague conflict is ok but it's not quite setup enough for me where I can really draw my own conclusions. But I do think you embody this character well; you understand his conscious completely it seems.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Alex

9 Years Ago

I agree, I think it needs more body to it also so thank you for your constructive help! Much appreci.. read more
Really well written and crisp. "It's got to be done" is perfect and I enjoy that it's repeated. Its a piece that makes you think and I want to read more!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Alex

9 Years Ago

Thank you very much for the review and sharing your thoughts on it! Much appreciated :)

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

443 Views
14 Reviews
Rating
Added on December 2, 2014
Last Updated on January 4, 2015

Author

Alex
Alex

Bristol, United Kingdom



About
if you've remembered to still check this page in a search for a small piece of me, reach out. more..

Writing
Hey Bulldog Hey Bulldog

A Poem by Alex


Cecil Cecil

A Poem by Alex


The Drive The Drive

A Story by Alex



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Trapped Trapped

A Poem by Lily


Hey Bulldog Hey Bulldog

A Poem by Alex