Blank

She was high, it was obvious.

She huddled in the corner of the party on the oversized stained sofa, laughing into her cup with her two friends.

It made me angry that she gets herself in this state all the time, I briefly wondered why she does it, what drives her to the dead end.

~~

"Excuse me..."

"Uh, sorry" I replied, and moved away from the drinks table, quite gladly as I'm not sure why I put myself here, it stank of black rum and desperation.

She silently giggled and licked her lips. "S'alright, It may be a good idea to hang around here huh, not the best night I've had".

I smiled but I needed to know more, I needed her right now.

~~

"What's the best night you've had?"

She widened her eyes, her smile revealing a sense of excitement.

"Hmmm, that's a hard one.."

but the answer is instant and simultaneous, as if it wasn't hard at all,

"go on, I'm intrigued."

"By me?"

"Perhaps..."

"I don't want to name names,"

"then don't."

"Ok, I had been talking to..." She looked up, and touched her neck, "blank." 

She waited for my approval and raised her eyebrows, impatient and eager.

"blank" I agreed, and grinned an honest grin.

~~

"For months and months and I.. I fell in love with blank" she waited.

"And I met blank and we drank red wine and touched each other until the feel of him got into my veins..."

She looked at me to confirm I was still listening and it made me feel slightly sick, like other people have not paid her attention and she's somewhat conscious of it.

"Please"

"Ok..." She said and carried on, slightly slower but that may have been due to the drugs in her system.

"And that was the best night" she stated, staring into blank space.

"That's it?"

She mocked horror,

"it was great, you know..."

"Blank" I called myself, feeling witty and over-confident.

she laughed freely and stumbled slightly, signs of her persistent high.

"you know... blank" she smiles at me again, "sometimes it doesn't matter what you're doing, its who you're with, how they make you feel..."

~~

She paused and shook her head, too violently for sober matter.

"Never mind, it was nice to meet you blank, or blank 2 I guess."

Her smile returned, but only slightly,

"my friends are waiting."

She returned to pouring drinks into three cups, 2 beers and 1 a triple whiskey,

I sighed.  

Author's Note

Not sure what my intentions were but a piece of writing where no names are mentioned appealed to me. Please ignore the grammar mistakes!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

"Blank" I called myself, feeling witty and over-confident.
she laughed freely and stumbled slightly, signs of her persistent high.
"you know... blank" she smiles at me again, "sometimes it doesn't matter what you're doing, its who you're with, how they make you feel..."
I like the way you used the language in the story. Create situation and thoughts. The above lines stood out for me. I like the final words. "how they make you feel". A interesting tale. You held my attention till the last words.
Coyote

[Alex]

Thank you very much! It means a lot coming from a very respectable writer, especially when I am just experimenting-- cheers!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome. Maybe a little respectable.

[ms. barrie]

very engaging, unique write, enriched with the gritty atmosphere, i love how no names were mentioned, adds mystery. very realistic, dialogue, and flowing narration...kept my attention till the end..

"it stank of black rum and desperation" --- this imagery really stood out for me. for it
depicts a dingy yet subtle sense of foggy glamour.

i like the path you decided to write this. in..i hope you to continue this story...i'd love to read more
of what happens. thanks for sharing :)

[Delmar Cooper]

And the writer says to herself,"This is what I intend,"and writes. Then the writer reads and says "This was what I really intended." And both thoughts are right as long as they work. This reader read and at the end of reading said,"This worked."

Thanks for sharing.

[Alex]

Thank you!! Really helpful :)

[Chadvonswan]

Experimenting while writing is the best way to ink your thoughts down. If i were you I would keep at it,...!
Nice write!!

[Alex]

Thanks very much! Really appreciate it :)