Gentlemen

A social commentary. Somehow I just want to feature a town that does not exist, yet is everywhere in our lives. It's sad to be mistreated; it's sadder to get hope and lose them.

1.    Birthday Celebration

 

“Out of ten…I give her a score of 2.” Someone says. “2 is too high. I give her a 1.” Someone else says. “Hey at least her mum is good. I’ll give her a 2.” Another man says.

       I live in a town called Gentlemen. I used to ask my mum why did we call it like this, and mum said it’s none of my business. So I guess it is none of my business. So I never asked again.

       I have lived here 18 years and my life has been fine. By fine, I mean my life is the same as every other girl like me. Ordinary, pathetic, and ignored by the crowd.

Me and those girls are different though. They are like this because their parents give them that score of face; but me, with a mum that earned a score of 9 in her Birthday Celebration, it is truly hilarious to see people arguing on my score, debating whether I should get a 1 or a 2.

       They are still arguing. My hand is sweating. My life is held in those gentlemen’s hands. They gotta give me a 2. Please give me a 2! Oh lord. If they give me a 1, I would prefer they just kill me.

       I think our mayor just said I should get a 2. Great. Listen to him, gentlemen. He is right! I’m not that good, but I deserve a 2. I really do.

       But I can only say that in my mind. Mum is warning me with her eyes.

“You know your face will get you a low score on your Birthday Celebration tomorrow,” she told me last night, “Don’t react upon the score. Just stay smiling and be as polite as you can.” She emphasized, “Tomorrow is your only chance to show those gentlemen you are going to be a good wife.”

She doesn’t need to be that serious actually. Everyone knows Birthday Celebration is the one and only big moment in every girl’s life. I know it too. Mum always says I’m not a clever girl, but I know when to behave. Today is the day for me to take out all my manners reserved in the last 18 years. I just need to find myself a husband.

All girls being rated below 3 will stay at home after their Birthday Celebration, until a few of them luckily get married with someone, and the others just stay in their house and rot after years. I don’t want to be one of them. A life without a man? How pathetic. But I guess those girls deserve what they get. It’s not the gentlemen’s fault to not choose those girls. I mean, if I were one of the gentlemen, I would definitely choose a 9 rather than a 2. Mum says so too. “A gentleman never marries a 3 or below,” she told me, “unless that girl is special. So I need you to be that exception.”

Sure. Being special. That’s not hard. I’ve been sitting here the whole morning and I’ve been keeping myself quiet. And I’ll keep that quiet for the whole day. I’m not going to shout or yell or flirt. Mum told me many gentlemen like shy girls. So I decided to be that shy girl they like.

 

       A loud, shouting voice suddenly squeezes itself through the crowd of gentlemen.

“Are you all-all like stupid or-or crazy or-or something?” It is a man with a slight stammer. I have never seen this man in town before. Where is he from?

       Go away. Don’t interrupt my silence here. I say to him silently.

       “I-I’ve been watching since I came here this morning!” He is still yelling. His stammer gets better. “I can’t believe this is happening! You crazy-crazy people, you rate girls with scores?”

       Stop yelling, man. We can hear you. I roll my eyes invisibly.

       “Hey, hey.” His sound suddenly moves toward me.

       What? Towards me?

       I turn my neck and look at him with a shivering smile. That smile makes me look scared. This guy is crazy. His eyes are protruding. His mouth is opening and closing in the fastest speed I’ve ever seen. Gentlemen would never be like that�"like a fish dying on the beach, breathing desperately for life. Gentlemen are fishes in the sea, roaming freely and beautifully. I wish they could notice my vulnerability here. Come save me! Come marry me!

       “Why aren’t you resisting this? They are so rude!”

       Now this crazy guy is really talking to me. I can feel his spittle.

       Should I say anything? Saying Hi wouldn’t harm me anyway. Or it would? All the gentlemen have disdain on their face. No, I can’t say anything. I need to get away from this crazy guy. He really looks like a dying fish.

       “1!”

       The sword of Damocles suddenly falls. They’ve made the decision, and the decision is 1. The lowest score a girl could get. I’m a little dizzy now. I really am.

       “See! They give you a 1! They are crazy! You deserve better than this! Hey! Are you listening to me?” That’s from the guy.

       “Oh my little girl! Look at me, darling! You are fine!” That’s from my mum.

       “Gentlemen, the scoring group just made the decision. The final score for Lotus is 1.” That’s from the mayor.

       “Oh lord.” That’s from myself.

       And then I fall into the dark.

      

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2.    The House

 

       My mum’s voice wakes me up. I see myself lying in my bed, and mum is holding my hand.

“Hi baby.”

“What happened?” That dying fish face is still in my head. 

“Doctor said you had a heat stroke. You will be fine.” Mum says.

“You will be finer if you come with me!” It’s that dying fish guy. I wonder how his voice can still be so penetrating through that wooden door.

“Shut up.” That’s from me and my mum.

It looks like I’ve been sleeping for a while. The street is so quiet. I guess all the gentlemen went back to their house.

       That smile on my mum’s face is not a “we’re fine” face. I know her so well. That smile means “we are so screwed.”

       I screwed up.

       “Mum. Tell me the truth. What did they say about me.”

       “Hey babe, why don’t you go…”

       “Mum.”

       “They really said nothing. You passed out and they went back home. Nothing.”

       “Mum. You know I can tell when you are lying.”

       “It’s really no…”

       I looked her back.

       “Fine. Gentlemen said the judgement of 1 is fair for you, so passing out in that circumstance is disrespectful to the town rule, and as a punishment you will stay in The House for a month to make up your guilt.” She speaks fast.

       “Not that bad. A month in The House. There’s still a glimmer of hope I guess.”

       Mum nods. With tear in her eyes.

       I turn my eyes away. Now mum’s tears are no longer in my sight.

“When do I need to be there?”

       “They said…the moment you wake up you should be there.”

       “Oh. So they seem pretty serious about this. Sure I will go now.”

      

       I am now the pity girl who get kicked into The House. What should I do? I can’t see any glimmer of hope. This is the end for me. Like those pathetic girls. I guess I just still have to be one of them.

       The guard leads me to my room and he kicks the door close. Good. Now a guard won’t even look at me.

       This place is quiet. When it gets quiet I can’t stop thinking. I think about those shinning gentlemen I saw in the crowd. I think about our mayor’s voice that declared I’m a 1. I think about my bed. I think about mum.

       And suddenly my thinking goes to that dying fish guy. I wish his loud annoying voice is here to accompany me.

       No. Nononono.

This is wrong. I cannot think of that guy. His sayings are supposed to be stupid and creepy and bold. He is a madman.

       “Lotus! Your name is Lotus right? Lotus are you there?”

       Oh my god. The madman is outside The House. How did he know my name?

       I decide not to respond.

       “Lotus! I know you are there! My name is Adrian and I’m here to help you!”

       Help me? No one can help right now. Lier.

       I remain silence.

       Then the voice disappears. I guess the guard drives him away.

       Good.

      

       I didn’t expect to hear his voice again. But now, right now, he is standing outside my room, dressing like a guard.

       He is not looking at me. He is facing out.

       And then he talks.

       This time he is much quieter. I can tell that he is trying so hard to keep the voice low and that makes his voice funny.

       He is talking about lots of things. Things I’ve never heard about before, things I’ve never believed in. Things about girls, about how they are not scored outside, about how they are respected outside. I’m not quite sure what respect means, but from his sayings I guess that’s the attitude we give to our gentlemen.

       And those things, those bold, crazy, unbelievable things, make me quiet.

       I don’t think they are real. They are illusions.

       But hell. Even they are illusions, they are dreams, they are the BEST dreams I’ve ever had. Best ever.

       So I listen and listen and I dive into that dream.

       When the night comes he leave, but he gives me a dream to sleep with at night.

 

       The next morning he is outside my door again, talking quietly again about those illusions. So does the following morning and the following morning and many more following mornings.

       Fifteen days. For fifteen days, I wake up and I see him standing outside my door. Talking about same things.

       Then I start to ask myself: how possible can a man be so obsessed with illusions?

       And. What if those illusions are real.

       I decide to ask.

       “Are those…things…real?”

       He seems surprised that I finally say something. He looks back at me quickly and turns his head back gain.

       “Yes. Oh yesyesyes. Yes I am telling you how the true world out there looks like. Really. That’s how girls are treated outside. You deserve the same like them.”

       “I don’t believe you.”

       I do, a little bit, actually.

       Adrian, surprisingly and expectedly, doesn’t give up.

       He keeps on his everyday talking outside my room for 26 days.

Till now.

       “When you go out, you will see that the life is so different out there, especially for girls. In the world outside, people…”

       “Respect girls.” “respect girls.” I say with him.

       “Adrian. Even if all your sayings are true, I cannot escape from my town. My mum lives here. And if the gentlemen catch me I will get killed. So just go.”

       “If your mum cares about you so much, why doesn’t she visit you here? Lotus, you need to understand, everyone here lives for their own. So you gotta live for your own.”

       He stops, and continues, “And how do you think I get here? Apparently I didn’t walk in here through the gate. I know there’s a secret route. You will be fine. We will be fine.”

       My heart is popping up and down. Is he telling the truth? He is telling the truth.

“There’s only 4 days left and you will go home and I will never get to see you again. Do you really want to stay in this stupid town for the whole life?”

My heart is popping and I can’t say a word.

I sit there, and he stands there quietly. The night comes and he leaves.

The next day passes away in silence.

On the 28^th day of me imprisoned in The House, Adrian comes again.

“Lotus. There’s only two days left. You have to go or--”

“Shhhhh. I will leave with you tomorrow.”

 

 

 

 

 

3.    Hope

We are here. I can’t believe it, but we are actually, virtually, literally standing on the

land outside the town I’ve been living for 18 years. My legs and feet are shaking, for it’s also their first time stepping on a different soil.

       “See Lotus. We did it. Hey look at me. Gimme a smile.” Adrian is obviously very happy.

       I guess I’m supposed to also be happy. I am, actually. I escape from the destiny of rotting in the town. I am free.

Free. Free. Free.

I give Adrian a smile.

“Thank you.”

He doesn’t smile back. He is not smiling at all. He is frowning.

“Did you hear the hooves?”

“N..no I didn’t…What happened…?”

“We need to go now.”

I look at him and every part of me is stiff.

“Move!” He says. He’s already sitting on his horse.

I can’t. The gentlemen knew I ran away. The hooves are from them. They are hunting us.

They are hunting me.

“They… they came. They knew I ran.”

“Yes and that’s why we need to Run. Now!”

“Oh…ok. Run. Ok.”

I want to get myself up on that horse. Trust me I really do. But my legs no longer listen to me. From the moment they know their master came for them, they no longer listen to me.

Adrian sighs. Just go, Adrian. Leave me here.

But I hope he can wait for me. I hope he can save me.

And he does.

He rides the horse near me and he drags me on his horse. He makes me sit in front of him and he gives his back to the gentlemen coming to us.

And he rides. He rides, and he rides, until the horse refuses to move any further.

Now I can hear the hooves. That sound is getting louder.

But Adrian seems relieved. He points to the front, where I can see the soil turns black a few kilometers away.

“Right-right there. Right there is-is my place. We run there and we are free.” He is breathing like a dying fish again.

But a happy dying fish I guess. We are about to be free.

 

       “Stop. There.”

That’s not from me. That’s not from Adrian either.

My heart stops. It knows what’s happening. And it pops. Crazily up and down.

The gentlemen.

I turn around, and I see them standing meters away from me.

They are angry. I can tell they are really angry.

I made them angry.

God. I made the gentlemen angry.

“Lotus.” Suddenly, Adrian’s voice softly approaches me. “You go.” His voice is getting funny again. God. This man just never knows how to lower his voice.

“You go and I’ll go after you.” Adrian repeats in his funny voice.

Sure. I will go and you will go after me. That’s what I will do now. Legs, follow me. Come with me. Run!

They are not listening to me. They are shaking because they feel the anger from their masters.

Their masters speak:

“Stay there you traitors. You’re not going to get away from this. And you, Lotus. Hell we never know you got the brave to run away, Hah?”

They laugh. They are laughing.

I look at Adrian. His mouth is speaking silently now: Run away. Go now. Go. Go. Go.

 I can’t move. I honestly just can’t. Now my mouth is not listening to me either. The masters of my body wants it back. So it must listen.

It doesn’t take too long for them to walk through that few meters.

They come up and they tie up Adrian. They don’t even look at me. Nobody is looking at me.

Someone lifts an axe.

Adrian yells, in his very very loud voice, “Run, Lotus, run!”

And suddenly I can speak.

“I’m sorry! Sorry! Sorry…. sorry…….”

       They cut off his head. Surprisingly I’m not that surprised.

This is my fate. Fate is meant to happen. Fate can’t be changed.

They tie me up with ropes. I let them do.

It’s the end now.

They make me kneel. I kneel.

They tell me to confess. I confess.

“You little kitten starting to learn how to scratch, huh?” They say.

“Little kitten will behave well from now on and never disobey the gentlemen”.

They laugh. “Repeat that.”
      “I will behave well like a little kitten.” I say.

Author's Note

Please point out my grammar problems and give me better word choices if possible. English is my second language and I really hope you can help me get better at it. Great thanks!