Paper Airplane (for Chelsea)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don't we all posess a treasue chest under torn spiderwebs?

In it we keep

a slice of cake,

a pencil,

a nostalgic music box,

a crystal drop of rain,

a snowflake,

a pair of socks,

a face with a mask,

and a song. 

 

Some of us lost the key to the chest of warm memories.

Some of us would not dare to open it yet:

The scent of failure would reek out of it.

Then the voice of an unhappy weak person saying: They want to go home.

And when when it resounds, it makes us unhappy and weak too.

 

But we must learn to approach it admit that it will always exist as a piecof us, make peace with it, then hold it in our palms, fold it little by little, make it into an airplane of thin paper and set it free from our balcony.

 

It is difficult.

It will takes time. .

And it will make new human beings out of us.

Author's Note

Comments, reviews, and corrections are appreciated.

*Image by *ethe
*Link: http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=§ion=&q=paper+plane#/dkzok5

Reviews

[Rafif]

What can I say..? You always surprise me, I've realized how bad I suck compared to you. xD
Good write, you put your feelings and ideas in awesome containers.

[Color of the Iris]

Yay! Another great poem! This was totally weird, but totally awesome. You turned little airplanes bent from parchment into something special, and that's what I think makes this poem freaking awesome. Awesome job, 100/100

~ Iris ~

[An owl on the moon]

There is something so intimate here, and yet so vast... These memories collected and recollected, and the sadness that can linger in looking ahead.. what we are and aren't... So beautifully voiced and lifting as the words set us free to fulfill dreams untold...

[Rikkevi Rue]

this is beautiful in its parallel to the human psyche...for don't we all possess in our personalities and in our "home universe" just such a array of token idiosyncrasies? And don't they oh so accurately reflect our "held so close" self-images and interesting facets. I love how your write portrays the nature of life, the choices that are hard to make yet lead to personal growth, if we find the courage to take them. There is a symmetry in the stanzas, the first childlike, the middle expresses the angst of a young adult and the third akin to really coming of age in ones own life.

So wise you are in your innocence! This piece is perhaps not as polished as it could be, but is advanced in depth and what it delivers to the reader

[HoorayForUnderdog]

OOOOOOOOOH, I really think this is something special. From an editing standpoint I have to say that the first stanza is perfection.

I would really encourage you to consider working on the structure of the 2nd and 3rd stanzas -- make it into a visual art form in order to compliment your words. Perhaps take the ideas from your sentences and distill them down to images or at least smaller phrases so that you extend the powerful conciseness of your 1st stanza.

Wonderful poem.

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

Beautiful metaphors.

[The Cougar's Den]

When did you look inside of mine? That is exactly what I have in mine (except the socks.) xoxo GREAT WRITE!

[Frantzuu]

Great metaphors
"a crystal drop of rain"
I can just picture it in my head. A crystal drop of tears. :D
Lovely written poem. :)

[Calypso]

I love the metaphor you used. The tone of this poem is light and kind and it reminds me of a daydream you have on a spring day.

[Deviant Works]

"But we must learn to approach it admit that it will always exist as a piece of us, make peace with it, then hold it in our palms, fold it little by little, make it into an airplane and set it free from our balcony."

So beautiful that I almost cried. I truly love how easily you create heartfelt images, like you did with the paragraph above. I'm having an emotional day and this didn't help.:) Made me feel all mushy. Wonderful message, Wella.