Provisional. Precious.

 

 

Provisional. Precious.

 

 

You tilt your head waiting for an answer

 

I press my lips together

 

Consuming the laughter

 

 

You look funny when you focus too hard

 

But you're ruining the melody

 

Playing in our midnight backyard

 

 

You're cracking my quiet

 

I shelter your hand with mine

 

As I stare into the sight

 

Of everlasting myriads of stars...

 

 

Your ashen eyes glisten with a blush

 

My fingers ascend to your lips

 

No words needed, love. Hush...

 

 

Can we breathe instead of think...?

 

Can we stay this way...?

 

Drown in a gaze instead of blink...?

 

 

You stare, sitting by me still

 

My fingers on your lips

 

You've worked on that skill

 

 

You can read my lines

 

And my smile thanks you...

 

You cross your fingers through mine...

 

 

It's only minutes until...

 

You vanish back into your world...

 

You respect my wish and I will...

 

Miss the silent magic we hold...

 

 

A Shooting star…should I make a wish, dear..?

 

Even though I know you drew that star near…?

Reviews

[Omar Fendri]

oh God oh God ^^ this one is amazing in all the scales.
the rhythm is extraordinary
The imagination is splendid
the words are heartfelt
The questions make the song more beautiful and sweet to read
the close is breathtaking.
in three letters, it's W-O-W :)

[Lucid Smile]

This was so beautiful its so calm and yet still has the serious feeling. i love this.

[Angela Mulley]

I really enjoyed this. I like the rhyme, and the images you set. I imagined an alien of some kind that disappeared all of a sudden as I was reading. Totally awsome, magical write. Well done!

[PaperDoll]

I love this. it captures a single moment between two people perfectly. I love the last two lines especially. Kudos.

[YouoweYoupay]

Thank you, PaperDoll. You were truly one of my favourite writers on this website. I love your short story: Eden Falls. And I sometimes wish I can read it again.

[hannahspelledbackwards]

I always love reading your poems because you have different subjects every time. It's like your mind is consumed with imagination.
This is one of my favorites you have written.
Good job! :)

[MissWordSmith]

Oh wow.
I am left shivering. This just took the breath out of me.
I mean, I don't have words to express how wonderful this was!
You thank me with a smile - wow....WOW WOW WOW!
I'm literally left breathless... thanks for this one. I really appreciate you posting it so I had the chance to read it. My god it was amazing. The imagery, the pictures that formed. Your descriptions! 100/100!

[Havatara]

Awww I almost cried! I wish we had moments like this. The poem is amazing =)

[Emily B]

beautiful, whispered words

[Hollow Man]

absolutely beautiful

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

Beautiful poem!!!!!!!

[George Love]

Good work, interesting form and well thought out.