The Whispering Train

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Whispering Train

 

 

In my last adventure
to the endless space
I stumbled over
this place

 

...I've seen it before

 

My eyes caught a girl
She ran in haste.

 

...I've seen her before.

 

The sunset tracked her
with its drowsy shades
Was she guilty
of that dreamy face
or that rare golden hair
that danced in grace

 

Glimmering silver
flowed down her body
stopped above her knees
eccentric metal
clinked beneath her feet
and a loose shoelace

 

She raced towards the station
of the whispering trains
they had such a name
because when it rained
they merely made a rustle
as they started

 

Unaware till a moment,
I enrolled in that chase,
I was afraid...
that I'd lose her in that place
among the rushing crowd.

 

She swiftly climbed the door
of the last open cabin

If I hadn't bumped
into the man in brown

I could have climbed along

 

I stretched my arm
threw my hand
my mind was laden
with the longing to be
with that snow-maiden

 

I saw her pretty eyes
turn to my direction
as she stood by the pole

Wheather she could see me
I never knew
Her long locks waved
as the breeze blew

and the little droplets
of dust and rain arrived

 

And the whispering train
swished into the space
of forest green soaked
in the sunset's embrace

 

I watched her go...
taking my eerie longing with her.

 

As I turned around
to face the snide shades
of orange, red, and peach...
I watched them fade
and dissolve...
into the sheets of illusions
a dream folded into another

 

As I began to awaken
further from the station
of the whispering trains
I realized...
the rainy sunset was beautiful

So my mute voice
spoke to the frail blaze:
Why was she afraid of you...?

 

Author's Note

I had this dream at some point during today's afternoon nap. Dreams can be awesomly weird sometimes. =P Comments? Reviews?

Reviews

[Omar Fendri]

there are hundred ways for inspiration to slip inside our minds... and sleeping is one of them XD :)
I love the idea ( the dream)...
I cherish some breathtaking lines like " That rare golden hair that danced in grace","Glimmering silver, flowed down her body " outstanding description. Really, well-done...
I've just imagined that dream in some random pictures... and i really want to know why she was afraid of him... What you think about going back to sleep and finishing this dream?
Beautifully written, nice job

[Wondering Mind]

I get weird dreams, but not this awesomely weird...and If I wrote about them, and posted them, I'd be blocked.
Very vivid writing.

[Wolf]

Wonderful write keep it up cant wait to see more

[.]

Such asmazing imagery you have written with. Decriptive as well. I like the set up of this. This is a wonderful write.

[M.Kilani]

I could almost see it !! although odd yet the description was amazing... another great piece ... well done Wella !!

[.]

I love the title..yes it has that dream quality...surreal..but you still had a story to tell and you did it well

[Misty Blue Eyes]

it was a very sureal but vivid poem, i really liked it, thanks for the adventure lol

[Marie Harrison]

Enjoyed this adventure you led us on. Love it! I'm fascinated by dreams, they are so odd!

[Moonflower]

I was thinking, while reading this, that it felt like a dream...a few points were hazy and almost surreal. This had a smooth, tender touch, a beautiful style of writing.

[Mauricio Montoya]

I like the choice of word that put this piece together, very well written.
Excellent write.

[Dante Balsote]

Considering your "unorthodox" style of writing, this one is great. Even the title is imaginative.