Love: The Last Letter

 

 

Dear Kylie,

 

How are you? I've been thinking about you. And I think it's finally time for me to tell you that this will be my last letter.

And because it is the last one, I will try harder to stay brave. The idea of not sensing your presence seems quite scary at first.

 

But a friend once wrote a wonderful story about two boys who came from completely different worlds. They both searched together for a way to return to their homes

The darkness lurked near them, and they were quite young. It made it easy for anyone to fall on their knees in tears and despair.

And so the stronger boy told his friend in order to eas his fears: "We have a saying in [our world]. All good things are made from bad things.” (1)

 

Meeting you was no mistake, my friend. However sad it is for me to remain unable to reach you.

 

Kylie, I have stopped believing that you are the villain, the heart-breaker or the one who does not appreciate what she had lost.

 

I have stopped shaming myself for still wanting you.

 

I have stopped the hours from passing. And I sat alone with myself. I drank all my self-pity and needing.

 

Other beautiful human beings have come to me, and I to them. Encounters were fun and refreshing, but they were brief and I lost interest very soon.

 

Was it because I only saw you everytime I looked into their eyes? Or was it because I saw the hurt that might befall once I leave the door in my heart open?

 

For a little while, you saw in me what is worth loving and teaching. However, for some reason, I tend to have a difficulty expressing how grateful

I am to all your lessons and gentle guidance.

 

Do you believe me when I tell you that after meeting you, I have been torn and all my pieces have expanded?

 

Like a bassinet for stars and showers of light.

 

I will try. Like I always do. To tell you what I have learned from our short-lived embrace:

 

I learned how important it is to need someone. There is power in admitting what or who we need.

 

I learned that bones might ache and a stomach might be empty and hungry yet we can still be mindful and kind.

 

I learned that a house we've loved and cherished can burn or tumble over our heads, but we can always begin again.

 

I learned that our heroes and models for inspiration can be found in Children stories and films.

 

I learned that we should always speak to ourselves the way we would love to be spoken to.

 

I learned that we have plenty of eternities to sleep after we are dead. And so we ought to seize the day.

 

I learned that we can express your pain or anger towards someone without the need to break them.

 

I learned that so many of us just want to be understood and accepted. Nothing more.

 

I learned that there can be sourness in Beauty and sweetness in the Beast.

 

I learned that we might only have today to spend together. We should say all the soft, encouraging, truthful things we had always wanted to say to one another.

 

I learned that we are never too old to heal, or to learn how to paint, or to admit we were wrong.

 

I learned from you, Kylie, that a fire may not be necessarily a vile creature that consumes all there is.

 

A fire that sparks in the furnace of the heart is stronger than passion, dreams, or wishing. It is the flame we ignite to fight for a loved one,

To fight for a moral value we believe in; to hurt with it who we love, slightly, so that they too can feel alive and wanted and desired. It is a fire that rises to prove to oneself and all the others that we have tried our very best. And we have failed countless through our determination.

 

And when that fire dies and we are exhausted, only ashes remain; to comfort us and bury us until we are ready to live again.

 

I want to be honest with you. As honest as I can, Kylie. For the last few months I had secretly, subconsciously deeply prayed for you to end up all alone.

 

I wanted to see you write about poems of break-ups and betrayals and confusion. I was preparing myself to approach you shortly after; your fallen figure beneath my shadow. So that I would lend you my hand again and ask you to be mine. Because I used to believe that no one would cherish your soul the way mine cherishes yours.

 

But I shake my head upon realizing where my mind had gone. And I choose to wish you years and years of sunlight and love and laughter.

 

May nothing but Happiness come through your door.

I think this is the best time for me to wish the same for myself. You taught me that I deserve it. :)

 

I will not say that I have loved you. I'm shocked as you may have been if you were to read this; shocked to admit to you that after all these trials, I still do not really understand what love is.

 

I will learn when the time is right, God willing.

 

~Rain.

Author's Note

(1) “Phillip, we have a saying in the Viridian Core. All good things are made from bad things.”
“Huh?”
“It, um… it’s a play on words. I guess it loses its punch in your language. What I mean to say is that while this may seem like a bad situation, it is actually a good situation,” said Omar.

From the Fantasy Novel: Warp, by my friend the writer: StarNinja.

Please feel free to check out his neat piece of work by following the link below:

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/dangomez87/570303/

Reviews

[StarNinja]

"All good things are made from bad things"? Whoever wrote that must be a hack ;)

This was lovely. A form of closure we've all felt at one time or another, written in an expert manner. Learning never stops, even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts. I hope you find the meaning of love. For a kind soul like yours I don't imagine it will be too hard.

[Coyote Poetry]

A well written and good letter. I like the honest feel and strong statements in the letter. The letter is very personal and direct. Thank you for sharing the excellent words and thoughts.
Coyote