Letters, Cucumber Slices, and Charcoal

 

 

 

 

 

Letters, Cucumber Slices and Charcoal

 

 

 

To: Rafeef

Forget about starvation, poverty

Or liars that sleep in polished thrones

 

This is our golden age.

To see you make a sandwich

And hear you huff at the slice of cucumber

That fell by your slippers

And even though I can't smell or taste

What you've invented,

It's far better than imagining you

Through old-fashioned letters.

 

Forget about women with mirror-like green or honey eyes.

Don't bite the edge of your fingernails in jealousy

Upon scaling their carved waists and thighs

 

The black in your irises is more precious

Because charcoal, my love,

Never sits around a lady's neck

But when it burns

Makes you warm, and brings a soft light

To our lonely terrace.

 

Can diamonds and rubies do that?

Author's Note

*Image Title: Catastrophes from a Terrace
*Artist: nile-can-too
*Link to original art: http://www.deviantart.com/?q=terrace#/art/Catastrophes-from-a-terrace-302354568?_sid=26e41856

Reviews

[Tea]

This piece is amazing. Great job. :)

[Rafif]

You're amazing, this left me speechless..I needed it.
I read this so many times..it seemed more beautiful every time I read it.
Thank you, this is one of the best things that I have received in so long.

[Fairytale]

Nice imagery, although I could not understand the theme. I enjoyed the use of words, and got an old-fashioned feel throughout the poem.

[Astro]

I love the imagery you pen here Rain, that bit about the cucumber slice falling and the 'huff' captures such a great moment that is passed over as something trivial by most but holds such lasting impression. The commenting about the color of the eye being less important than the black pupils that look into you, is great too. Although, Diamonds are a kind of charcoal but the point is still well put.

[Rick Puetter]

Delicate. Thought provoking. And no, diamonds and rubies can't do that. A powerful and deep observation.

I greatly enjoyed reading this. Top marks!

Best regards,

Rick

[Jamie Cook]

That last question made me go: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! And you know do a flip like those guys on maury after they were told they weren't the father. This was very lovely and so beautifully written on how what is so wanted can be the most useless of things rather then something as simple as charcoal. Wicked job! I'm still in the "awe" phase where my face is stuck between the :O and the :3 emoticon. AWESOME. woot woot :)

[Emily B]

oh, so beautiful . . . . .

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is amazing. I had to read many times. Title caught my attention and the logic of the poem made me desire to know more. I like the use of Letters, Cucumber Slices, and Charcoal. I like poetry that end with a question. No weakness in the outstanding poetry.
Coyote