Grandfather Mountain

An imagery-heavy piece. I've always dug personification. I'd really appreciate constructive criticism

Grandfather Mountain, where is your chest?
The earth is my chest
With skin of dirt and loam
Great boulders lie beneath it;
They are my sinew, brawn, and bone

Grandfather Mountain, where is your mouth?
Cleft banks form my lips
For my mouth's a rocky spring
Sand and pebbles are my tongue
And the water babbles as I sing

Grandfather Mountain, where is your beard?
My beard grows green and mossy
It spreads down my rugged head
It's stubbled sod and springtime grasses,
A soft carpet for you to tread

Grandfather Mountain, what is your scent?
My breath is sage,
blowing on a humid breeze.
My sweat is earthy, pungent-
The odor of rotting leaves

Author's Note

I'd like to know what you think about punctuation- I want it to flow, but it could probably use a little more broken up. Does it need an introduction and/or closing stanza?

Reviews

[Faye Kasdon]

The final lines in each stanza seem to be where you trip up- you maintain a rhythmic syllable count, but by the ending lines it stumbles a little. Maybe work on how you finish each verse, as far as flow. Also, the leading questions all make sense except for 'what is your scent'. It just feels awkward, but might make more sense if you opened that stanza with a question about breath, instead of changing subjects from scent. Otherwise it's a beautiful poem and you did a great job expressing the solemn/timeless beauty of a mountain