Basking in fear

I have awful dreams. Always have had, (hopefully won't) always will have. I wrote this a night after it happened. There's a second part I could add about the following morning, but not sure!

As I awake, startled from a dream, I breath heavily. Emotionally I sob loudly as I try to grasp what on earth is going on with me. My heart sounds like footsteps outside my room and it startles me momentaraily. I turn the light on and straighten my back up to the wall behind me, searching the room. It is familiar, soothing. Sighing, I wonder when it will ever end. And why I just can't see it for what it is, dreams. I decide to be strong, to dodge the urge to leave the light on and pick up my book. The abscence of light leaves me completely blind for a few long moments before my eyes finally adjust. Realizing that I'm holding my breath I gently exhale, simultaneously trying to relax my rigid body. 

As I try to slumber I listen to the familiar creeks of the old house. I tell myself that they are soothing, that the sounds are what I've heard ever since I was a child, not something I should be afraid of. Of course my pulse and the general heavy feeling of my chest is fighting the logic. The double wooden doors leading inbetween the dining room and the giant hallway creek as they move on their hinges, a gust of wind disturbing them. Hopefully the petite German shepherd resting in the dining room will scurry through them and up to my room as she has done many times before when they've blown open. I wait to hear her pawing up the stairs, so as I can open the door for her and close them after her.

   Knowing she will take a few minutes to realize the opportunity I let my mind wander as I make sure my ears are tuned to the stair case. 

   I hear her at last take the first step that I know always startles her as it creeks. She always avoids anything that would make her heard, but that first step isn't something she can avoid. I wait for her to get over the creek and keep on walking up the stairs, as I know her well enough to know that she is now hesitating on the second step, thinking "is it worth it?". After a while the other step in the staircase that creeks is stepped on and I wait to see her shadow under my door. Smiling I sit up and get ready to get out of bed to let her in. 

   My throat suddenly pulls together as I gasp, the hairs at the back of my neck stand. I feel cowardly that I for no apparent reason go into a state of fear just because I've sat up in the dark. I tell myself that I'm being stupid, but a nagging sensation at the back of my mind makes itself apparent and I decide to let it be heard. After years of fearing the night I have come to become an expert at mind control. As soon as the thought hits me I go into full blown panic. I know for sure that this time, I am far from paranoid. It is real. I can't breath, every hair on my body stands and tears suddenly spring to my eyes. My mouth hitches open in a silent scream. I know this, I know that I can't scream when I go into shock, but still I try. 

   What has triggered this sudden relisation is that I know for sure it isn't my petite German shepherd that has climbed the stairs. She would never walk at the outside part of the staircase, the part of the second step that would creek. Not only does she know that she can avoid the creek of that step, she walks so that her body constantly touches the wall as she walks up the stairs. Whomever has ascended the staircase has walked right by the railing and paced on the very outer part of the step. I realize that my eye sight is clouded from the tears.

   The patch infront of the door becomes light, and I can't even gasp. Someone had been standing there, on the other side of the door. Leaving his shadow as I knew my dog would. 

My body is rigid and I feel paralyzed. I can not move however much I try. Slowly I feel the air reenter my lungs, I do not gasp for the air, which my lungs long for, for I am terrified that it could be heard by the intruder. I don't know how long I sit like that.

   "Evita", the wimper from my mother reaches me in my daze. It crosses me that I might be imaginating this. Surely the intrudor is merely a petty thief, I tell myself. Why would my mother have been awoken.

    Then, I hear the wimper clearer this time, louder.

    Terror filled I lurch for the door and throw it open.

    The scene unfolds in slow motion. I hear myself, shouting "no". I see the large dark figure turn around and sneer at me. Revealing my mother outstrectched with her arms towards me. As his body turns towards me I see the gun. He takes one step.

The gunshot pierced the air. Blood flowed straight to my ears, a thumping sort of sound engrossed me.

   "MUM, MUM". My cry is a shreek, full of fear.

I am sitting and I hear a voice.

   "What?"

It is dark, I can't place myself. My legs are stretched before me, with a sheet covering them. I sit paralyzed, in fear of the footsteps coming towards me. I'm not sure how I've ended up where I am but there is little time to think. 

   The voice comes closer and I see the tired eyes of mothers boyfriend staring at me as he's turned the light on. I gasp for air, filling my lungs. I'm at his house, in the guest room. 

   "Dreaming, I'm dreaming, I was dreaming", I mumble.

   "Hey?", he says struggling to hear.

I merely shake my head and I hear him walk off to his room. I wait a beat and hear the second voice, my mothers. I exhale. As everything falls into place I calm slightly. I lay back down. It's windy and the creeks of this house is not unlike our own. On edge, I jump at every single sound. The anticlimax from the nightmare is familiar and I know I won't be able to fall asleep in this room again. And if I were to fall asleep I would relapse into the dream.

   Shaking I gather my iPad and sheet. Pausing every other second to listen. Silently I walk out of the room. Since a child I have always been able to move completely silently. I turn quickly into the kitchen through the giant archway and sit myself on the inbuilt sitting spot right by the brick archway. I hold my breath and press my back towards the wall behind me. Much like I had done in my own room in the dream. 

   The wind whistles through the open windows and I quiver at what sounds like muffled screams. A bowl of plums sits on the freezer I sit by, I pick one and eat it silently. 

   Suddenly everything seems scary. I see in the corner of my eye how the mosquito net over the window flickers, startled I look I stare at it. It doesn't move. My eyes wander again. The net flickers again and this time I sit up straight from the position I e slumped  into, staring at the net. Sure, that it is not merely the wind causing the net to flicker. 

   A sudden noise comes from the room I led in earlier and I gasp audibly. Knowing, it is only the wind, is what keeps me from bolting. Yet, the fear is blazing and uncontrollable.

Quickly I tiptoe to the sofa. The giant bull coming through red curtains stares at me, I shudder as I pass him. As I lay down I glance quickly around me, making sure how the surroundings should look like in the dark, just in case something were to be out of place. The tv and the windows surrounding the room give a clear reflection and I keep an eye on everything behind me in the reflection. The curtains move as the wind takes ahold of them. I watch as they dance, telling myself that it is merely nature.          Nothing else.

   I realize I'm being watched before I even see him. A few feet away from the foot of the sofa is double glass doors. As my eyes dart around the room they finally rest on his face on the other side of the glass doors. His breath leaves marks on the screen. He is a giant, much larger than others of his kind. His black hairs gleam in the moonlight. I wave and smile at him, suddenly feeling a little safer. 

Author's Note

This isn't fiction, exactly this happened to me two nights ago. I've been having these dreams for a long time and it's only just hit me that I can write about them. I sort of have an urge to put together a little compilation of my terror filled dreams.
There's a second part to this that I could write. Apparently very early the following morning I was found clutching the giant German shepherd that I saw in the glas doors. When I was pulled away from him, I went hysterical. I have no recollection of this. But I could write about how I came to know about this the following morning at the breakfast table. Any thoughts?