Guy--Part Five

A Chapter by Wayne Vargas

Splog # 15

Five

The man inspected Guy for a moment or two and then he said,

"Do you know what's good for you?"

Guy was taken slightly aback. He was seven years old and was used to people telling him that they knew what was best for him, as if he didn't. But was there a difference between what was best for him and what was good for him?

"Do you have trouble hearing? Do you speak the English language? You are a human being, aren't you? Do you know what's good for you? Are you hungry?"

Grasping at a simple question that he'd often been asked, amid a myriad of interrogatories, Guy answered, "Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, sir?" Guy replied, trying to be polite.

"You seem to be human and you obviously speak the English language and you heard my whistle, so either you know what's good for you or you're hungry. Which is it?"

"I think I must be hungry, sir."

"You think you must be hungry. Please don't call me sir. And I still don't know if you know what's good for you."

Guy looked at the man with his mouth half open and tried to think how best to respond. The man was walking around different objects as he talked, mostly in circles, as the space wasn't very large and seemed to be filled with tree stumps. The man looked at Guy and his face was kindly and his eyes were sparkling and his voice was gentle but his words didn't seem very polite.

Finally, he walked up to Guy and extended his hand toward him.

"You had better take this," he said. "This is what is good for you."

Guy put out his hand and the man dropped a pebble into it. An ordinary, roundish grey-brown pebble about the size of his thumb.

"Now, I'll find you something to eat."

On one of the stumps, there was a wooden bowl and the man lifted a cloth that was covering it. He spread the cloth in front of the bowl and placed upon it, also from the bowl, a piece of bread, a piece of cheese, a carrot and some grapes.

"Please make yourself at home," the man said, motioning to the place spread with eatables. Guy stood still so the man walked behind him and steered him to the food.

"Do you still think you're hungry?" said the man, standing behind Guy.

"Yes, sir," said Guy. And then, remembering the man's admonition, he added, "Yes, sure."

He picked up the carrot and started crunching on it. The man walked around the stump and stood looking at him.

"You better put that in your pocket so you don't lose it."

As Guy started to put the pebble in his pocket, the man suddenly said, "Has that pocket been checked for holes lately?"

Guy shook his head so the man said, "Better turn it out first to be sure. You don't want to take any chances with what's good for you."

So Guy put the carrot down and slowly turned his pocket inside out and felt along the seam and took a good look.

"Any holes?"

Again Guy shook his head and the man replied, "Just so. Put that away carefully and then enjoy your meal. There are a few things we need to discuss."

Guy carefully tucked the pebble into his left pocket. As he picked up the carrot to take another bite, he felt something behind his knees. A glance back showed him a stump that he was fairly sure hadn't been there before. As he was wondering about it, the man said, "Why not have a seat and eat your meal in comfort?"

So Guy sat down and, around a mouthful of carrot, said, "Thank you, sir." He was trying to swallow the sound of the sir when the man sat opposite him and said, "Let's just call each other by name. My name is Splog. And I think that your name might just happen to be Eric."

The man seemed to expect that Guy would be surprised to find out that he knew his name. He continued on: "Now, Eric, not too many people know what's really good for them so I suppose you're wondering why that pebble I gave you is good for you."

"No, sir, Mr. Splog." Again, Guy tried to cover up the sir by throwing in "Mr. Splog" on top of it. But Splog didn't seem to notice.

"You're not wondering why that pebble is good for you?"

"No. Yes, I am. But, Mr. Splog, my name..."

"You don't have to call me Mr. Splog, Eric. All my friends call me Splog (which, of course, is not my real name) and I'm hoping we'll be friends. So please, just call me Splog, and tell me what you know about that pebble."

"I don't know anything about the pebble...Splog." Guy said slowly.

"All right. I'm officially confused and I'm sure it's my doing, not yours. So just eat your meal, Eric, and we'll speak after you're finished."

Splog rose from the stump where he had sat during the awkward conversation, took off his hat and coat, hung them on short branches sprouting from the walls, and roamed around whistling and humming to himself.