Soliloquy to the Rescue

Just something I wrote when I was veeeery tired.

You never know when you're going to need to know a Shakespearian soliloquy. To that, and to Shakespeare, I thank my life. Well, at least my sanity. Allow me to explain.

I was traveling along the Kötülük river, which stretches the entire distance of the Lanetli rainforest, in my canoe. It was my favorite my canoe. I had ridden in other people's canoe's, but they never felt as right as mine. I'd even named it, not that I would ever tell anybody that. My canoe's name was Batili.

It fit perfectly, I thought, as I paddled down the wide but surprisingly fast flowing river. Batili was graceful, and energetic, and playful sounding, a perfect match for my narrow, lean, but quite fast boat.

Sometimes, on really lonely days, like this one, I would talk to Batili. Who else could I talk to, when I wouldn't have human interaction for days on end. No, it's not weird.

But the lack of human contact was about to change. I heard a large splash, and saw a huge form lunging at me from the bank, flying through the air, and landing on top of me with a slight squishing noise. I felt strong hands pull Batili to the bank. What was going on? Did I do something wrong? And more importantly, who (or what) was on top of me?

I soon found out the answer, as the form in question slipped off of me, and quickly and expertly tied my behind my back. A man approached from the mainland, with a look that obviously showed he was the one behind my capture. I looked at him with fury in my eyes.

"What are you doing?" I yelled at the mysterious looking man. He wasn't mysterious in the usual way, dirty and raggedy and thuggish, I was used to those kinds of men. No, this man was mysterious, because he was the opposite. Sure, his shirt was slightly torn, and had a few stains, but on the whole, he looked extremely well cared for. His ash-blonde hair was combed just enough so it didn't look raggedy, his face was clean, and his body--well, let's just say he was well endowed in the muscular department. He carried a long, silver sword, which he was swiping around playfully.

"Just having some fun." said the man, his smile and eyes looking worryingly mischievous.

"Oh, so you capture oblivious passing tradesmen for sport, I presume." Why did I always have to be so sarcastic. The man gave me another one of those smiles, obviously trying to look charming. And it was working.

"Something like that." Who was this man? Why did he look familiar?

"Who ARE you?" I spat, trying to keep my anger. The other man holding my hands behind my back led me out of the boat, and the prestigious man on shore approached, his sword still swinging about in his hand.

"I think the better question to ask is....Who are you?" He was outright smirking now, and he was getting quite close to me. I wasn't sure if I was comfortable with this. I kept my eyes locked on him though, trying not to show him my discomfort. If he wanted mind games, mind games he would get.

"Just a passing traveler."

"How about a name?" He was walking in a semi circle around me, teasing me. Not in a mean way, but in a playful way. It was awfully confusing.

"I think I'd like yours first, thank you very much." Was it just me, or was this turning into a sass off? He stopped in his tracks, and his grin widened, if that was possible.

"How about we do a name swap. I'll tell you mine, if you tell me yours." I thought about it for a second. On one hand, I didn't want to give in to him, but on the other, I really wanted to find out who this man was.

"Deal. As long as you won't lie." The man in front of me laughed, and I tried to retain my straight face.

"Promise. In fact, I pinky-promise." He held up his pinky. I was shocked. The idea of two full grown men locking pinkies was crazy. But his eyes filled with something new--challenge. I was never one to turn down challenges.

"I would, but your thug is currently holding my hands in a rather constricting position." I struggled in the large man behind me's hands, as if to demonstrate the situation.

"Well, I think there's something we can do about that." He turned to my captor. "Hizmetci, off." he said harshly. The thug let me go. I smiled internally. Was the royal looking man that stupid? I could run off at any second now.

I didn't though. I lifted up my pinkie, and interlocked it with his. He did a little shaking motion, then let go.

"Well then, time for the exchange of names." he said. "You go first."

"Nehrikisi."

"Nehrikisi what?"

"That's all." I was of low birth, I didn't get another name.

"Really? Man of the river? Not what I was expecting, judging by your speech. But, very suitable indeed."

"I read." I offered up as an explanation. It was true. I had stolen quite a few books from the trade-villages I passed through. I had quite a stash of them in Batili. I prayed that no one would steal them from the boat. "And you would be?"

"Prince Müdor of Arazi." All the breath that had once inhabited my lungs was released in a moment. What in the world was a man of his birth, much less a prince, doing here with me? I instantly regretted my previous hostility.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, you're majesty." I bowed my head curtly. This only seemed to make the prince annoyed.

"I wasn't planning on hurting you, but if you call me that I might consider it." I let out a deep breath. I had been slightly worried he would torture me.

"You prefer it when I talk back, Prince?" The smiling smirk reappeared on his face.

"Yes, much." said the prince. His servant, Hizmetci, I thought his name was, had left our presence entirely, and was now searching through my things. The prince obviously saw me wincing. "Don't worry, he won't hurt your precious trading goods. And please, call me Müdor."

"I'll call you anything you like if you let me leave." I kept a straight face, but he obviously wasn't interested in doing so.

"Who says I'm restraining you?" He did have a point.

"Well, I guess I'll just leave now." I turned away, and wondered if he'd really just let me leave.

"No! I don't have what I want!" Nope.

"What do you want? You already have all the money in the land! All the food you could ever want? All the jewels, all the silk, all the gold and the silver! What else could you possibly need?!" I was starting to get angry again.

"Entertainment. Preform for me." It sounded like an order, but he was still smiling jokingly.

"Don't you have court jesters for that?" I asked.

"Yes, but none of them look half as nice as you do." I felt the heat rising in my cheeks, and thanked AIlah for my dark skin to hide my blush.

"What kind of performance?" Müdor shrugged.

"Any kind." I thought back to a play I had read, As You Like It, by William Shakespeare. It had an interesting monologue in it that I had memorized on the long boat rides I made to cross Arazi.

"Here goes nothing. All the world's a stage, by William Shakespeare." Müdor nodded, like he respected my decision, and motioned for me to continue.

"All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,

Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.

Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel

And shining morning face, creeping like snail

Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,

Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad

Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,

Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,

Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,

Seeking the bubble reputation

Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,

In fair round belly with good capon lined,

With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,

Full of wise saws and modern instances;

And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts

Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,

With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;

His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide

For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,

Turning again toward childish treble, pipes

And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,

That ends this strange eventful history,

Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything."

I gave a overdramatic bow at the sound of Müdor's clapping.

"Well done, well done." he said, still smiling goofily. I wondered to myself if his cheekbones ever started hurting. I wasn't really the smiling type, so I wouldn't know. "Do you want to know your prize?"

"I didn't know there was a prize involved." Müdor was getting closer to me. I could almost feel his breath.

"Yes. You get to come back to the castle with me."

I knew that I should have been overwhelmed with joy. I was finally going to leave the monotony that was my life in the river! But there was really only one thing I could think about. I looked back at the bank where Batili was half still in the water, and half on shore. Müdor followed my gaze and rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry. We'll bring the boat." And with that, he grabbed my arm and pulled me behind him, that Puckish grin of his never leaving his face. It really was very charming.

Author's Note

Please review! I know, there isn't really a plot, or anything continuous whatsoever, but I would really like some feedback!