In Him

 

I stood on the mountain top gazing at the ocean wide. The waters were blue and deep, immense and uncertain, just as my thoughts have come to be. I had grown to think life was understood, deciphered by man, but it had outshone me once more and proven to me that it was nothing more than a sequence of unresolved puzzles.

For years now I had become soulless; I erred in a world that seemed completely still at times, yet uncharacteristically rapid at others. My growing confusion had let me to my solitude where I best do my thinking.

The weather was soothing. The wind was blowing with contempt as if it were a sign of things to come. The ocean waves stampeded out in the wide, overlapping one another before ultimately crashing on the barricade that separated them from the shores.

I had come to believe that light was non-existent in our world. Even as the sun shone vividly from above, piercing my itching skin, I had fallen into an irrevocable state of darkness that led me to a point of no return.

‘How did I get here? Where do I go from here? How do I break free from these chains that I have carried so long with me?’ As I lay alone on my mountain top, the sea grew louder.

I then fell into a vicious cycle that spiraled through my mind, reliving every aching emotion, every painful memory that I had amassed over the years. I struggled, and as I fell on my knees, bending my back and touching the sand-filled ground, I realized that the heavens opened.

I looked for inspiration, I looked for guidance. But just as the troubled seas sent shock waves into my spine, so did the evergreen sun, sending its blazing rays down on my eyes.

I felt as though my vision was wiped out, and I had landed in an unknown world, much different from mine.

It was a strange place with a different feel. I felt moved by it, relieved to be a part of it. It was, as I refer to it today, ‘the land of dreams, where hope never dies’. And as I blissfully made my entrance, another ray of light hit me, and I had been transported back to the mountain top, staring blankly at the open sea.

Was it a dream? I had thought of it as a vision, or a wish in disguise.

But a presence so up high had heard my silent whispers. And for the first of many times, I wasn't alone. I wasn't afraid. Solitude was no longer my friend; it had deserted me in search of another refuge.

And while my mind was still making sense of what had happened, rationalizing endlessly all the possibilities and the sequence of events that went down, trying to comprehend and possibly explain them, my heart had been lifted by a strength so invisible, so powerful that it sent shivers down my spine.

I had not found my answers; I had not yet escaped my world. But I had found a confidence in me that was gone missing for so long it had become a prisoner of the chambers of my soul.

The erring boy that once walked these shores had become a promising man whose soul was carried by an indomitable force from above…a light so strong it shined brilliantly over the world, frightening dark souls who chose to escape it, touching others in search of absolute truth.

In search of my truth, in pursuit of my destiny, this light had carried me through the forests of life. The anguished boy that deliberately chose to run away had finally learned to stand firmly on his feet; and today, in spite of the many obstacles that lied ahead, despite the crashing waves and the blowing winds, he had embarked on a journey of the mind where he would ultimately find his truth and define his purpose in what promised to be his way into life.