Mornings

some mornings I wake up 
i can reach my arms out to the sun
and the first thing I sigh is your name
fold back the sheets, straighten the pillows
tuck you away in the back of my mind
working with my hands
writing down my wants or worries
it’s never been so easy on days like these, 
you’re there, you’re there,
easy and steady
some mornings I don’t 
feel the opening of my eyes
routine and habit cloud my vision
and I let the anxious dark take hold.
I can’t move forward and I can’t move away
I think you’re there but I can’t feel you
I’m fighting a battle that hasn’t yet begun and I’m swinging my soul around in the dark
this morning I did not wake up 
won’t you come and wake me?