Vein B***h

i don’t particularly see the point in living in this world unless i’m completely in love with it. in particular i want to be in love with the things we can’t change. we are going to see a whole lot of sky and rain and dusk and blood in our life, why not find a way to be completely besotted by it. i’ve forgotten most things about you except for our last night together, how there were black leaves open mouth kissing the window, and how i knew that was it for us. now i think of you and all i can think of are leaves, and how i must love them, despite their veins being attached to your memory. to always adore nature, even when it’s so cold your bones themselves are raining. i’m missing that spark where you touched the earth as a child and your fingers vibrated like a tuning fork. i want everything to be awe-inspiring. yes, to imagine that you are doing everything again for the first time. i want to look at the world and feel like i’ve just dropped acid, because it truly is incredible we’ve even been given the opportunity to live at all. sometimes i just have to take a step back and realise how astonishing it is that dew exists, and that there are clouds that hang like fluffy ornaments in the sky, that language is a thing, that i can communicate with people, that music can be heard and that people can wear wide brim hats and f**k in hotel rooms and we can create memories and hold hands and have dreams we never really forget