Pity Prayers

[excerpt]

There is nothing
We are nothing
The world is but a false sanctuary in which we thought we could survive in only to our unfortunate surprise; not all of us can. I live in a world created by a God that was aware I could not function in such a world.
Do not be mistaken. It is beautiful with colors that dance with smiles
And bubbles of innocence, then drops of invincible youth that knew no better, leading to a wisdom of aged bodies that know not of the world but have learned to live in it. I am none of these things. I am not a color. I gave innocence to my heart, but it said 'we don't need that here'. I was granted a wisdom understood by me alone and I find that it is useless in this world. The sun is dry and lost on me, but gray is familiar. Happiness is a choice I have made, but not truly. It was a superficial feeling when i wore it and yet I did. I found true happiness to be a discomfort and wanted no part in it. I am but a false being living in a false world that deemed me broken before I had a chance to realize what was wrong. Nowadays i find the answer to make no difference. I would like to fix myself but I won't and I can't. I was created to be a shattered human being, therefore, once fixed I will be unable to live upon this earth. It is strange how this works, but one who has lived crushed and disfigured cannot survive any other way. Should one become whole again, they will find they were never meant to be to begin with. I can no longer be whole, it far too late.

-The Pity Prayers