Apocalyptic Pain

This is a customized poem for the Creative Poetry Group using the words Dejection, anguish, obscured, weary, and mournful - some of you will appreciate the accuracy of the metaphor

Apocalyptic Pain

 

I flip the coin and dejection wins,

so here I stand in anguish.

My mournful soul this morning knows

just what today will bring.

 

The familiar apocalyptic pain sweeps through me

 a demonic Energizer bunny �"

a fair-weather friend on a bad weather day,

that wants to borrow money.

 

My torture is obscured by the bathroom door,

as I try to pee once again,

But I’m left weary, with a bladder still full,

Again, the kidney stone wins.

 

David Carmichael

The Warrior Poet

January 8, 2011

Author's Note

This is a customized poem for the Creative Poetry Group using the words Dejection, anguish, obscured, weary, and mournful

Reviews

[Bette]

wowzer, this to shall pass, lol! well done

[Norma M Sutton]

Three words . . . ouch, ouch, OUCH!

[Coyote Poetry]

A very strong poem. I had those kidney stones for years. Till I learn to drink cranberry juice daily. Keep the inside clean and healthy. I like how you wrote the poem. Allow the reader to fall into the real story in the words. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Geralyn Miller]

I would say you have captured the despair of agony that ,particularly men have with kidney stones. You paint a vivid portrait of a man in pain but with the poet's touch.
I hope that the kidney stones are fictional, if not, ask doctor about the sound wave treatment, they sit you in a special bath and use sound waves to break the stones down to fine sand, patients who had prior stones, absolutely love the new metod, so much less pain and of shorter duration.