god cries

I lost my 13 y/o son to the choking game 2 years ago. What keeps me from hating God is my idea that maybe he's not all-powerful and that he too cried when it happened. I still can't write about it.

god cries

 

 

Where have you gone, oh morals of mine?

And where is all of that selfless thought?

The last few years and a few thousand tears,

have left me barely interested in being alive.

 

My altruism has fallen to shadow

and a schism has left me at odds with God...

I ripped out the pages and burned my bible last night.

 

I love and hate these dreams of mine,

both utterly detestable and utterly divine,

I see my son there and hear his voice

and he always makes me laugh even though I’m crying.

 

The celebrations end every morning,

When I open my eyes and remember the end...

And after all these years, I still wake up dying.

 

The only thought that keeps me from hating

This God above, that I’m supposed to love,

is that it wasn’t his idea to take my child.

But this swanky, brilliant all-powerful being,

 

won’t give me the words to describe how I’m feeling.

My eyes are cried dry and my soul is defiled and lost.

 

 

The Warrior Poet

11/18/2010

 

 

 

Reviews

[Poetic Beauty]

You have written a deeply touching and moving poem with the words that I posted for Creative Poetry group. The horror of loosing a child without you actually writing in detail about is loud and clear. It took my Aunt almost twenty years to forgive God and love him again after her son was born still born. I believe that God does cry when terrible things happen to children. I won't even try to begin to say I know what that amount of pain would be like for I don't and I hope I never do. I hope writing this has helped with some of the emotions. It is a great way to express your most inner thoughts and feelings. The flow of this poem is smooth and you held my attention till the end. This is a unique way to write about this tragic event and kudos for you for having the courage to do it. May you find peace someday.

[GTVile]

Wow, that is moving. Very good. I think any changes to it would merely take away from the meaning. Excellent.

[Dinesh Sairam]

The celebrations end every morning,
When I open my eyes and remember the end...
And after all these years, I still wake up dying.

I'm left to say nothing about the poem. God never answers the questions. In fact, the questions you ask return to you again and again, in the same fashion. They silently devour the soul. And the only way to nullify it, is seeking the arts. As for that, you have indeed taken the best decision of putting it to verse. Now the questions could stop returning to you and circulate these cluster of words.

I'm sorry for the loss. Your woes I feel.

Keep writing.

[luciddreamer]

I feel this write....I must say first I am so sorry for your loss....and second thank you so much for sharing :)
Peace
Robin

[Frantzuu]

Wow this is very touching, my heart goes out to you and your family. I can relate because I've lost close people to me as well. You did a great job with the poem, and thanks for sharing because it's very inspiring. A lot of people take things for granted now days, and this poem is a reminder that sometimes in life the most precious things vanishes away from you the quickest.

"What keeps me from hating God is my idea that maybe he's not all-powerful and that he too cried when it happened."
If there was a god, he wouldn't have let this happened to begin with. Now what have you done to deserve this? NOTHING! To me god is a fantasy that people create to justify their actions.
I'm sorry for you lost and hope that you find peace, and happiness very soon.

[.]

there is no words to describe your loss...no review ..thoughts are with you..

[Hollow Man]

aye, this is beautiful..

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

I too am speechless~ but feeling it ever so deep . . . .and it hurts something fierce even from my distanced end of the spectrum . . . .

[Aven]

a heartbreaking poem... I have no words really, other than it's beautiful...