when I first read this I was thinking the four letter was "hate" instead of "love" and I guess that is derived by my own negative feelings toward love especially since today is Valentine's Day"
Love this lines........
Her soul replaced by an unmarked tomb
Her sculptured pain slowly degrades
a nicely written poem that asks the right amount of questions while searching for the answers
Posted 9 Years Ago
3 of 3 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
My feeling towards the day are mutual, I thought I should try and write a poem and what better day t.. read moreMy feeling towards the day are mutual, I thought I should try and write a poem and what better day to write a poem then on Valentines day. Thank you for reviewing my work . I tried to keep it short as possible.
9 Years Ago
Don't worry about the length, focus on the completeness of the message....nothing else matters.
9 Years Ago
So, you would rather prefer a short poem with content, rather then a very long poem with no message?.. read moreSo, you would rather prefer a short poem with content, rather then a very long poem with no message?
For some reason I can't see your entire so based on the lines I can see here is my response.... The .. read moreFor some reason I can't see your entire so based on the lines I can see here is my response.... The length or the amount of words don't lend to it's strength unless the message is delivered and received, than the purpose to which it is intended is best served
9 Years Ago
When it is believed, conceived and perceived......
I was too busy loving the poem, every single word to think about any errors. Beautiful, love it. Thank you so much. Dale
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed my poem and it had such an impact on you, your honest though.. read moreThank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed my poem and it had such an impact on you, your honest thoughts give birth to even better poems. Warren
Nice sentiment here - ahh such is the journey through life - sometimes I think we must be grateful for the pain for how will we ever appreciate to good times otherwise?
This is really good dude. The diction is, as you said in the poem, "piercing." The imagery is so descriptive, without being too abundant. I feel like some people put imagery in just because that's what you're "supposed" to do, but here, the imagery has purpose in characterizing the subject of the poem. Syntactically, I would say to split lines five and six and make two lines of each. That way, each line is about the same length, which makes for more consistent rhythm and a smoother read. But, if you're not going for a rhythm, that's not necessary. That's a style choice that's comepletely up to you. So yeah, loved the poem, and I can't wait to read more of your stuff!
-Elisa
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you so much! It was a challenge writing this, it was my very first poem. I always try my harde.. read moreThank you so much! It was a challenge writing this, it was my very first poem. I always try my hardest when it comes to imagery I would like to assist the reader when it comes to visualizing my words. Positive comments like these inspire me to give birth to more poems. Thank you for the review
Love- a feeling? a choice? or a conscientious decision to "fall"? But we always bring our baggage with us. In vain people can confess, if there is a disconnect. I really liked this piece, and your approach to it. Well done Daniel ~ (or is it warren?)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you so much for giving it a look, I'm glad you enjoyed it, lol it's Warren