Three words and a glass of wine

Three words and a glass of wine

A Poem by Warren Daniel II
"

A young girl oblivious to the world around her learns to forgive the four letters that hurt her

"
An empty breeze fills her heart

Mercy and depression engraved on her face

Is love intangible as the Gods we know?

Her soul replaced by an unmarked tomb

Why is love associated with the heart and never the mind?

Is the ever pumping blood vessel as important as we make it?

Deeply hurt by time

Betrayed by four letters

Her damaged lips as fractured as the land she stands on

A blade of light pierces through her Earth work, illuminating hope

Her sculptured pain slowly degrades

An immortal life re-emerged, a soul without pain

© 2015 Warren Daniel II


Author's Note

Warren Daniel II
I would like to apologize in advance for any grammatical errors, honest thoughts are highly appriciated

My Review

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Featured Review

when I first read this I was thinking the four letter was "hate" instead of "love" and I guess that is derived by my own negative feelings toward love especially since today is Valentine's Day"

Love this lines........

Her soul replaced by an unmarked tomb
Her sculptured pain slowly degrades


a nicely written poem that asks the right amount of questions while searching for the answers

Posted 9 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Jerome F Knox III pseudonym Nefarious J. Dorsey

9 Years Ago

For some reason I can't see your entire so based on the lines I can see here is my response.... The .. read more
Jerome F Knox III pseudonym Nefarious J. Dorsey

9 Years Ago

When it is believed, conceived and perceived......
Warren Daniel II

9 Years Ago

Hmmm... Makes sense, thanks again for the review



Reviews

For many young people they go with first impressions not bothering to see what a person is really like. Valentine

Posted 9 Years Ago


The ending was great, and your word choice was fantastic throughout, very descriptive and an a beautiful portrayal of what the girl went through

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Warren Daniel II

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your review your honest thoughts are appreciated
The last line ends this poem perfectly.
This poem is amazing, the concept and they way you delivered it is very interesting to read.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Warren Daniel II

9 Years Ago

Thanks Olivia, I'm really glad that you enjoyed this poem.
I was too busy loving the poem, every single word to think about any errors. Beautiful, love it. Thank you so much. Dale

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Warren Daniel II

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed my poem and it had such an impact on you, your honest though.. read more
Confuser

9 Years Ago

You're welcome.
Nice sentiment here - ahh such is the journey through life - sometimes I think we must be grateful for the pain for how will we ever appreciate to good times otherwise?

A nice effort with layers of meaning XX



Posted 9 Years Ago


This is really good dude. The diction is, as you said in the poem, "piercing." The imagery is so descriptive, without being too abundant. I feel like some people put imagery in just because that's what you're "supposed" to do, but here, the imagery has purpose in characterizing the subject of the poem. Syntactically, I would say to split lines five and six and make two lines of each. That way, each line is about the same length, which makes for more consistent rhythm and a smoother read. But, if you're not going for a rhythm, that's not necessary. That's a style choice that's comepletely up to you. So yeah, loved the poem, and I can't wait to read more of your stuff!
-Elisa

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Warren Daniel II

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much! It was a challenge writing this, it was my very first poem. I always try my harde.. read more
Well writen. It's simply amazing.

Posted 9 Years Ago


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~
Love- a feeling? a choice? or a conscientious decision to "fall"? But we always bring our baggage with us. In vain people can confess, if there is a disconnect. I really liked this piece, and your approach to it. Well done Daniel ~ (or is it warren?)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Warren Daniel II

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much for giving it a look, I'm glad you enjoyed it, lol it's Warren
There is a thin line between love and hate. The deep emotional pain is expressed well in this one. Lydi**

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Warren Daniel II

9 Years Ago

Thank you for your review, your honest thoughts are highly appreciated.
Heartfelt poem ... I can feel her devastation in love . Forgive and forget are hard things to do :-)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1478 Views
23 Reviews
Rating
Added on February 14, 2015
Last Updated on February 18, 2015
Tags: Love, girl, forgiveness, sadness, hurt, heart, soul, betrayed, pain

Author

Warren Daniel II
Warren Daniel II

Johannesburg, South Africa



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