Somewhere in Between

A recent piece, one of my favorites

Life's filthy cradle comforts no man

Beautiful boughs of death do shine

Withering leaves live in love's hand

The sobbing shadow's tears are mine



Stars of night are all alone

Their companions feel nothing

And so are they sorrow prone

Their cold light misses something



Bleeding moon moans at midnight

As it's woes give suck to the wind

They blow, blind to mortal sight

Bringing chills to those who sinned



Erie airs echo wailing whispers

Wearing wreaths with winter's wrath

Freezing the conscience of sinners

Oblivious to their destructive path



Creation seems to reflect a void

Like an empty sea under a bland day

Like darkness over the lost horizon

Like golden light smeared with grey



My heart, the ready writer

Spectates the miracles of fantasy

And the wonders of perceived reality

To pen it's most rueful tune



"Shimmer vivacity's obscure reality

That I may fade to sleep

Burnish the dream's austerity

That I may exist somewhere in between"

Author's Note

Let me know what you think and please share! :)

Reviews

[TawnyBlueStar]

I agree with Chris on your rhyme scheme needing to be more consistent but
I liked it :)
I like the mixure of nature like the "bleeding moon" "Stars of night are all alone
" and "Erie airs echo wailing whispers". Adds something to your poem that makes it beautiful and expressive :D :D
awesome poem
100 :D

[EMF]

Firstly a comment on your writing scheme....Works perfectly fine for me. I like it. You've not tried to find 15 different ryhmes for Moon like one of your reviewers did. It is a strong powerful piece that has wonderful imagry and a great flow. Well worth the time to read and re-read. Proper job mate.

[Arielle Ann]

I enjoyed from the start...to begin with the comparison- filthy cradle of life contrasted to the beautiful boughs of death...but in reality everyone says just the reverse...moving on to the vivid imagery you painted...bleeding moon, lonely stars, chilling wind, from the pen of a writer...the ens summarizes it all,what you wished to say " "Shimmer vivacity's obscure reality
...That I may fade to sleep
Burnish the dream's austerity
That I may exist somewhere in between" this was a very beautiful write...touched my soul!

[johnnyqueer]

Awesome poem, I loved the imagery.

[Shy Girl]

Just out of reach is what comes to mind. A very vivid expressive poem. Truely a joy to read. :)

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Well... wow. I love the rhyming and alliteration in this sort of like a tongue twister at parts like this line:
"Wearing wreaths with winter's wrath"
Very nice.
Also I love stanzas 2 and three i love how you wrote about the stars and the moon.
Enjoyed this write.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

This is mesmerizing! I loved the whimsical beauty of the imagery that you have taken my mind to... It was a surreal place of whispering winds, the moon, and the sea. Lovely write!

[Demi Rose]

epic awesomeness. =^.^=

[Sleeping Maiden]

Brilliant piece! =D Powerful imagery that sceams out to the reader. ^o^ Great one!