Somewhere in Between

A recent piece, one of my favorites

Life's filthy cradle comforts no man

Beautiful boughs of death do shine

Withering leaves live in love's hand

The sobbing shadow's tears are mine



Stars of night are all alone

Their companions feel nothing

And so are they sorrow prone

Their cold light misses something



Bleeding moon moans at midnight

As it's woes give suck to the wind

They blow, blind to mortal sight

Bringing chills to those who sinned



Erie airs echo wailing whispers

Wearing wreaths with winter's wrath

Freezing the conscience of sinners

Oblivious to their destructive path



Creation seems to reflect a void

Like an empty sea under a bland day

Like darkness over the lost horizon

Like golden light smeared with grey



My heart, the ready writer

Spectates the miracles of fantasy

And the wonders of perceived reality

To pen it's most rueful tune



"Shimmer vivacity's obscure reality

That I may fade to sleep

Burnish the dream's austerity

That I may exist somewhere in between"

Author's Note

Let me know what you think and please share! :)

Reviews

[TawnyBlueStar]

I agree with Chris on your rhyme scheme needing to be more consistent but
I liked it :)
I like the mixure of nature like the "bleeding moon" "Stars of night are all alone
" and "Erie airs echo wailing whispers". Adds something to your poem that makes it beautiful and expressive :D :D
awesome poem
100 :D

[Ripple of Aqua]

I really liked this piece. It gave real life to a quiet night. But I do have a slight slip to tell you about. You had said "Bleeding moon moans at midnight," this might just be my style, but I think it would flow better if it was just night. Giving it a specific time was a little shuttering because I was expecting the moon to cry out until the sun over took it, not just at midnight. Maybe that was your full intention that it be only at midnight that the moon moans but it jarred me a little when the poem had flowed perfectly till that point. This is still a magical piece, besides my criticism.

[Richard Layne]

very good. the imagery is incredible.

[khalid]

great poem written by great poet

[Tim Lion]

the content is lovely man, but the on-again, off-again rhyme scheme needs some work.
I like it.
But, with work,
I could grow to love it.
T

[dreaming dame]

Wow, I love this, especially the first line to every stanza, it captured me. :)

[Maddie]

That was really good! I really liked the concept; like the concept wasn't made incredibly obvious, but it was gracefully described in the poem...good job!

[paradise]

FReaking amazing! :0 thats all i can say!

[Me]

A stark and clear write

[Kenneth The Poet]

Nice write. I like the rhyme scheme and the depth here.

[Maria.F.T]

it's fantastic ! I like da metaphor