truth is never a cliche

poem i wrote for my girlfriend :D

If you could be put into words

I'd etch you out in stone

and place you in depths of my heart

a solemn place you can call your throne

 

If you could be put into song

I'd lead the angels in a chorus

that will be repeated all day long

just so i'd hear your voice

 

If I could put you in nature

you'd be an exuberant sun

rising above a colorless sea

zealously waiting to capture 

such a beautiful reflection

 

If you could be captured in art

you'd be that 'golden smile' of glee

that perfectly painted portrait

framed and set for all to be seen

titled "summers harmony"

 

but in all that is truth

in all that is honesty

I would not wish for anything

that make you be away from me

 

If you could be put under my arms

I'd wish for you to be no place else

 

I'd wish away the rising sun

and the desperately yearning sea

 

I'd wish away the artist

and his pathetic glee

 

I'd wish away everything

for you to be here with me

Author's Note

umm...be honest :D

Reviews

Really liked this poem. Thought it was a really nice sentiment to someone, especially to the other person within the relationship. I especially like the descriptive metaphors you used and placed about to describe your feelings to that someone and to describe them as in the image that you see. It's a really personal poem and has a lot of "umph" to it. It's great work I must say.
Though, there are a few grammatical errors, specifically last line of stanza 5 and 3rd line of stanza 2... some of the beat/rhythm of the poem seems a bit "off", such as the odd ball stanza 2 (doesn't fit much in structure with the rest of the poem)... really can't put my finger on much else at the moment.
Overall, thought the poem was really good, gotta give it a 92/100... excellent work yo ^_^ hope to see more from ya bro

[Larry Dyson]

as romantic poetry it is good, follows rules and most assuredly is endearing to her.. but no great epiphanies or 'ah ha's' as a piece of prose...if that is what you intended then it works...

[Lily Mae]

This stirs the heart and soul. I love the "I'd wish away everything for you to be here with me." Excellent write..xx

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful and powerful poem. Last line is real wisdom. In the end we will have family and good friends to make us content.
"I'd wish away everything
for you to be here with me"
Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[An owl on the moon]

In your words here is a world of longing.. of love played out like a song.. moving heart and mind to that beautiful union of two into one.. Intimate and yet vast in imagery...