truth is never a cliche

poem i wrote for my girlfriend :D

If you could be put into words

I'd etch you out in stone

and place you in depths of my heart

a solemn place you can call your throne

 

If you could be put into song

I'd lead the angels in a chorus

that will be repeated all day long

just so i'd hear your voice

 

If I could put you in nature

you'd be an exuberant sun

rising above a colorless sea

zealously waiting to capture 

such a beautiful reflection

 

If you could be captured in art

you'd be that 'golden smile' of glee

that perfectly painted portrait

framed and set for all to be seen

titled "summers harmony"

 

but in all that is truth

in all that is honesty

I would not wish for anything

that make you be away from me

 

If you could be put under my arms

I'd wish for you to be no place else

 

I'd wish away the rising sun

and the desperately yearning sea

 

I'd wish away the artist

and his pathetic glee

 

I'd wish away everything

for you to be here with me

Author's Note

umm...be honest :D

Reviews

Really liked this poem. Thought it was a really nice sentiment to someone, especially to the other person within the relationship. I especially like the descriptive metaphors you used and placed about to describe your feelings to that someone and to describe them as in the image that you see. It's a really personal poem and has a lot of "umph" to it. It's great work I must say.
Though, there are a few grammatical errors, specifically last line of stanza 5 and 3rd line of stanza 2... some of the beat/rhythm of the poem seems a bit "off", such as the odd ball stanza 2 (doesn't fit much in structure with the rest of the poem)... really can't put my finger on much else at the moment.
Overall, thought the poem was really good, gotta give it a 92/100... excellent work yo ^_^ hope to see more from ya bro

[EMMIE]

THIS IS GOING IN MY LIBRARY MOST DEF! HAS TO BE ONE OF THE BEST WORKS I'VE READ ON HERE AND I LOVE IT. THE PICTURES YOU PAINT, IMAGERY, CREATIVITY, ALL THE COMPARISONS...EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS POEM IS SO DOPE. GREAT WORK

[Crowley]

Its what we all strive to do, expression the only way we know how sometimes. I always try to express exactly what I want to...sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. It worked here for you, loved it. Thnaks for the invite.

[Cassie Fraga]

aaaawwww... so flutterbyish....
that was beautiful!! the flow was so easy and can feel all the emotion screaming in between your lines...
very lucky this person is for whom you write for...
keep it up!!! = )

[Boldpen]

Very beautiful!
I loved this piece.
Truly romantic and gracefully penned.
It's tender and soft flow made this creation even more adorable.
Nicely done!

[Sheila Kline]

Your words flow like a love song in the breezes of "forever"! The concept of "If I could", and If you could" allow a bond to form that delivers a strong message of love and commitment! With honesty, I exclaim "BEAUTIFUL"!!

[Faiza Iqbal]

Yaaay! :D

[M.E.Lyle]

Honestly I think this is true love expressed in a most enduring fashion. It flows like river, not a rushing river but one that flows calmy, smoothly, and gently. It is the lovers song. I heard hints of Jamaican music in the background. It was wonderful.

[KAREN]

Beautiful and heartfelt writing! Love the flow and imagery! The ending says it all. very nice work.

[Larry Dyson]

this would be perfect as an introductory paragraph...If you could be captured in art

you'd be that 'golden smile' of glee

that perfectly painted portrait

framed and set for all to be seen

titled "summers harmony"