Green Eyed Me

I dont know... Ignore my spelling please im to lazy to fix it right now...

I could have sworn to by every star that my eyes are blue. The kind that changes just slightly from light to dark depending on how the sun hits my face.

As i look in the mirror this morning they would appear to be a acidic green with a redness that lines my eyes and a puffiness that wont seem to fade no matter how much a cry. 

I'm not sure if what we had was just sexual temptation that neither of us could resist or if when you said i love you... you meant it. 

When we said goodbye i was crying but you seemed solid as you looked back at me the pixilated face that i kissed three months ago. 

You came to meet me at the airport and our hello was one that could be seen and written about in romantic novels for years and never be matched. The week we had... god that week will never leave my mind but that last day when we said goodbye i cant help but feel my heart being pulled out of my chest. 

I ran into a trashcan. A f*****g trash can as you walked to your plane back to the land of sun and sand while i lay trapped in snow and heartbreak. 

Your I love you seems forbidden and i hesitate to say it back when i know your seeing someone else. I dont wanna break her heart but i know that if i dont keep saying it you might leave and then ill have a shattered heart. 

Who came up with this idea to be appart? Oh right me. I broke my own heart in a fear of losing you, hating how stiff you had become with me how i could see the hate in your eyes as you said you loved me. I was unselfish and said lets wait but now I'm being eaten alive by the girl that doesnt know I'm alive. 

My goldfish shakes her head and says let him go and move on but its not that easy is it? I'm in love with him or have very very very bad separation issues from him. I'm not a pretty redhead with chocolate brown eyes and perfect legs. I cant wave my pinky finger and get a new man. I'm sorry I love you goldfish but its not that easy.

I dont have what it takes to find a new one. I'm not flirty, I'm shy, I'm sarcastic, I'm determined. Ive been told I'm pretty but what does it matter when the people who say it dont count or leave? 

I want to say i'm done... but I'm not....

TIme to put on my blue contacts now hope that no one will see the red or the streaks of tears.... Hush my green eyed monster.... Until we are alone once again... please... stay quiet....

~With hate,

The Green Eyed Me.