Losing

crossed legged I restrain myself from moving for that would only heighten the amount of inhibitions I'm losing

head spinning I'm nauseous, I'm losing, I dont relax but stop my body from fighting

it takes hold... a breathing pattern is lost as I'm overwhelmed with insecurity, I'm losing any part of normality

I lay motionless but not still, thoughts crashing fighting for space the better of the two are bound to lose

I gave in, I lost the optimist in me, withered no more hope as it now occurs so regular its a routine not surprise

no moment is enjoyed as my brain remains wrong wired, that part never dies

but its passed I'm feeling fine, heads back above water its almost sublime 

I continue with life not living just existing, waiting for the next ordeal for me to feel as I keep it quiet under wraps too ashamed to shed light on it

I tread water desperately, my life depends on it, I'm back fighting but still losing

these moments are fewer and far between as I see more good and feel more good, but I'm constantly waiting in fear still losing as I cannot enjoy the good for it is sure to end and the bad bound to follow. 

 

Reviews

[Rye]

Awesome imagery in this write, so well written. I enjoyed this

[apennylate]

Eyyyy, mate...
We write the same!
I love the way you connect multi-syllabic rhymed flows within the same line, eh
STRONG message conveyed as well, difficult to have such complex and even meter within such hard-hitting feeling...
My advice, my friend...
Other than stay strong and keep on doing what you do FOR you...
Try editing this a bit, look at how I does my stuff
I used to do EXACTLY how you have it here...
Harder to get reviews/reactions from the "less than inclined to read large bodies of text" people on the site...
Just a suggestion
I love how you have it here, and I love your style...
Keep at it, ploxxxx